Meetings and Partings

The trip was actually peaceful. No worrying about the council suspecting something and rushing after us, nothing. We are staying in a grand manor house in Coronet. This is where Godfrey lived before he was sent to train with the Jedi.

This place is simply beautiful. It's a cross between a victorian manor and a medeval castle.. Hundreds of rooms, .. It's a dream. His father is ill and from what he speaks of, it's one of the main reason why we've come here . He wanted me to meet his father Arton before he pased into the force. His mother died years ago, and he doesn't speak of it much, but tells me that I would've made her quite happy.


When we entered the house, someone rushed up to Godfrey and whispered something to him and immeditly his expression became very somber. He took my hand and led me down the hall towards a sprawling room that seemed to go on forever . In it was one single bed and in that bed was a man in his 90's I would guess . " is that?" my question died in my throat as he riased his head and looked at me. They were the same color as Godfrey's, sea green.


I left his side and approached the bed carefully then kneeling I let my hand rest on his forehead sending calming waves of the force to him. " you.. you're the one my s-son spoke of? Phobia?"
I nodded" Yes Arton, I'm Phobia.. Rest.. please.. save your strength"


A shaky gnarled hand tocuhed my cheek and his eyes locked with mine for the briefest moment " They will adore you.. you will be a good queen.. "


His head fell back, eyes closed and the hand fell back to the bed . I looked to Godfrey who stood just behind me , his eyes full of sorrow. The last family member he had.. gone.. I rose and after kissing Arton's forehead in a final means of love and respect I went to his side and brought his face down to meet mine.. " You still have me, you will ALWAYS have me.. this I promise you.... Now why don't we go for a walk? maybe get settled in? Help you clear you thoughts.. Let's just get out of here for now.. let them do their job?"


A thin smile crossed his features and he nodded, guiding me out of the room an arm around my waist. I wanted to take this pain away from .. somehow. I knew the pain of loosing family.. but I didn't..The glass doors swished open with the force and suddenly I found myself standing in a HUGE garden ,roses of every sort surrounding me and.. I walked closer to the tree in the center of the garden ..I knew this tree.. barely from my childhood in Spirit World.. " Godfrey.. how.. I.. " Words would not form in my throat.. this was one of the holiest trees known to man kind.. and demon kind.. the crystals that grew from this tree were sacred.. and helped prevent nightmares.
Godfrey reached up and plucked off one of the crystals and threaded it on a black leather rope and he placed it around my neck.. " To help with your nightmares love" I could feel the crystal's magic working on me and brining me closer to inner calm than I have ever been. I rose from the bench and wrapped my arms around his neck. " You are the most loving, caring man I have ever met. How can I ever show you how I feel?"

Smiling he placed both hands on my head and his voice dropped to a whisper" Open your mind to me.. show me.. "

I let every last one of my mental shields drop like glass, I could feel his mind wrapping around mine like a warm blanket healing the cracks, healing the scars. I could feel Catia's suprise as he even accepted her, his love embraced us both. Tears fell as I let myself fall against him, overcome by weariness and well.. just plain emotional breakdown.

He lifted me to my feet, my body was pretty much incapable of supporting itself and led me back into the house, but not before plucking a red rose and tucking it just behind my ear. Up a set of stairs and a smaller door was pushed open.

The room was bedecked in dark blue and silver. Bookshelves lined the walls and above them several weapons hung as ortamental pieces on the walls. Both new and old. I gazed in wonderment at the set of sais hanging above the second bookcase as Godfrey laid me down gently on the bed . " Sleep now my love. please.. you need your strength"

I nodded drowsily" Only if you'll lay here with me.. just or a bit.. "

I could see he was debating to give in or not, and I gazed at him pleadingly" Please? I can't sleep well without knowing your rested too"


A smile twitched at the corners of his lips and a moment later I could feel him pressed agianst my back, heat warming and comforting me like a gentle furnace.. " Now sleep.. we'll go out shopping later.. and head to the docks.. remember Anakin should be here soon"

With that thought on my mind I dropped off to sleep, drifitng on peace and serenity, two emotions the force has not seen fit to grant me until now.


When I woke sometime later it was Godfrey shaking me. " Pho? Pho? c'mon we're late.. and your com is ringing dear. " I woke groggily trying to reorient myself with the waking world. I picked up my com and answered sleepily" Deimos.. what's up?"

I could hear fighter engines in the background and a familiar voice that brought me back fully awake in a matter of seconds. " Skywalker and Pho where the heck are you? You said to meet you at the space dock at 3 it's 430 now !"

A few muttered cuss words and I shot up out of bed , searching for a dress and running a brush through my as usual* snort* unruly hair" Ani I'm sorry there's things that had came up and I slept in.. We'll be right there I promise.. I'll fill you in there."

" Alright Pho but this better be good.Skywalker out"

I dressed in a hurry, a white toga with purple shoulder drapes and a simple sapphire necklace which Godfrey had found for me and brown sandals. We pretty much looked like something out of an old story. He was dressed in brown pants and a poets shirt due to the heat. No wonder why Anakin was grumpy.The robes weighed a ton.

I raced down the stairs and outside where I jumped in my fighter, and Godfrey followed, at a much more slow pace. Too much like Obi Wan he was.. The Star Light space dock wasn't far and I made it with in about five minutes . Grinning from ear to ear i landed my fighter at the other end of the dock and snuck up behind Anakin dampening my force signature . I brought a hand up to cover his eyes" Guess who?"

He nearly jumped a half mile off the floor.

" Jeezus Pho! Don't do that! " He ran a hand through his hair sheepishly, probably embarassed that I had bene able to sneak up on the chosen one. " Don't worry Ani, no one wil lhear about this.. " I said with a chuckle. He stepped back to get a good look at me. it wasn't often that we were able to ditch our robes. " Pho you look amazing.. " he said grinning from what I suspected, pride.

" Ani I have to fill you in on a thing or two.. There's another thing I need your help with.."


His face fell"What'd you do now.. Don't tell me I have to pull your hide out of the frying pan"


I knew he hated having to clean up everyone else's messes. " no no nothing like that.. It's like this.. Godfrey's father Arton just passed away. The funeral is tonight and the wedding is the day after tomorrow. Could you be there please? Both factions I was telling you about will be present and I am hoping for Godfrey's sake there will be no trouble. I 've given him as much support as I know how, but he's hurting a lot.. That was the last of his family. "

Anakin smiled a little and nodded" Sure.. by the way where are you staying at anyway?"

I pointed to the manor on the hill" up there, there's hundreds of rooms.. You can come stay with us if you like.. "

He grinned" yeah.. if you guys don't mind. I'm bushed "

I gestured for him to follow me back to my fighter where I could see Godfrey had already landed and was waiting for us. " I was wondering what was keeping you Pho." he said a brief smirk tugging at his lips.I laughed aloud" you know I had to fill him in on what excactly was going on hon.. Anakin.. this is my fiance, soon to be husband.. Godfrey .. Godfrey you allready know who this but for the sake of formality.. this is Anakin. I have to go and check something on the fighter.. you guys talk for a minute k?"

I hurried back over to the engine which for some reason had decided to belch smoke .A little tinekring and it was fixed . As i made my way back over to them I could see they were getting along like old freinds. " Ready to go? " I asked,grinning . " There's some food back at the house.. and Anakin you don't need to play mr hero jedi here.. please.. not on my part at all.. or anyone else's.. I guess this is sort of a vacation for you.. "


A laugh in his his eyes Anakin nodded . Godfrey headed back to his ship and I turned to Anakin" you can either bring your fighter over to the house or ride with me.. there's a private dock closer to the house which I had no clue of til today. "

" I'll bring mine over thanks"

Nodding I got in my fighter and took off back to the house. When we landed I could tell Anakin was tired . Really tired . Despite his protests to the contrary I steered him into the one of many rooms and pointed to the bed. " you sleep .. now.. that's elderdown Alderanian goose feather. When do you think you'll get a chance like this again. I know your tense so shut up and quit yuor manly complaining. It will help"


He didn't need to be told twice. I closed the door and I could hear him sigh in contentment like a cat being given salmon.Chuckling to myself I headed up to the room I shared with Godfrey. I was dead on my feet too but I did a better job of shielding it from him than one would think . not Godfrey though.

The second I showed back in our room he guided me to the bed and said " I don't need to repeat the same speech you gave Anakin, you rest too. I have a few things to attend to . I'll join you shortly okay?."

I had dozed off almost fully before he was back. I moved over to let him lie down with me. Whenever his arms wrapped around my waist , I let out a little contented sigh and finally.. I was able to sleep.. maybe it was the air or what.. but no nightamres.. for once...A luxury I don't often have anymore and I would make the most of it.
Til later
Pho

A com call and sharing the news

So .. we're set and ready to leave for Corellia tomorrow. Belda is staying with some of her freinds while I'm away and I left her instructions that she is not to go wandering by herself and if possible stay within the temple walls. I sort of feel guilty about leaving her by herself for a full week , but I need the break for heaven's sakes..


The pups were staying at the temple as well as Odi.. Lisette was the only one comming with me thank the force.. I was pratically floating in all my excitement. We'd went shopping the previous evening and had managed to almost wipe out my petty cash from my sabbac games .. New clothes and also books and .. some other things which he isn't privvy to and won't be until I'm ready to show him* winks*
I

had comed Anakin last night and left him a short message of" If I'm not here just so you don't worry I'm on Correllia" I'm pretty much guessing he thought I had went off the deep end.. It was just then my com beeped.. I recgonized the number.. I gulped.. here we go..


" Pho , Skywalker.. Please tell me why you are going to Correllia of all places?" he sounded tired ,I hoped the council wasn't running him raggad again


I took a deep breath and said .. " Anakin.. you're the only one I'd trust with this.. but.. I'm getting married!" I was grinning from ear to ear as Godfrey came out of the other room and looked at me questioningly.


I gestured for him to be quiet as I listened to Anakin's reply.


" Your what? Repeat that!" Okay.. someone needed blood pressure meds..


" Anakin.. I.. I'm getting married.. " was he going to fly off the handle too?


A long pause followed.. Man this was not good then.. "Wow have I went nuts finally? or did the order change that fast?"


I chuckled at his very good attempt at dry humor and responded as I started throwing things into a suitcase" No Anakin.. the circumstances are diffrent.. much diffrent.. you see the guy I'm marrying.. the attachment bit has been waved for him . You remember the royal family of Correllia? I'm marrying Godfrey Zebulon ,Anakin.. the prince of Correllia" .. My voice was about to crack I was so nervous..


Another small pause then "How did you manage to pull that off? I'm happy for you he must be some man to win your heart"


I was near to tears I was so happy, Godfrey hugged me tightly then went to double check things as I spoke" he is Anakin.. the best man I have ever met.. 1 look that's all I needed .. I mean after everything that happened with Mace.. I didn't know if I culd fall in love.." I trailed off with a smile then " If you can, do you think you can come to Correllia .. we're leaving tomorrow for a week straight.. the council thinks it's a diplomatic mission, it technically is.. Godfrey is the negoaatior for the two factions on planet.. it's close to Civil War Ani.. "


Oh please.. let him be able to come! I didn't want to be by myself with none of my freinds around on the happiest day of my life!


"I can try, Pho. I'm allmost done with this menial grunt work Obi Wan set me to before he left.." I could hear a snort in the background ". I might have to met you whereever you are going. I have one more thing to take care of here"A sigh," And it'll take me a while, even with my expertiece"


I breathed a sigh of relief" You are the absoulete best jedi, friend and brother I could have.. You have no idea how much it means to me.. I only trust you with this.. If Obi Wan were to find out, he'd hit the roof.. " My voice faded a bit as I took a drink of water.. " We're going to be at the Star Light space dock, I'll meet you in the grand library if you can come okay? Thank you so much Anakin"


I could almost feel him smiling through the force " I wouldn't let you down. I'll be there as fast as I can. Don't worry your secret is safe with me"


If I could have hugged him I would have. " Thanks Ani.. And don't worry about Belda.. I've already left her instructions and such.. she's staying with freinds.. and I have Cin watching over her. Deimos out.. I'll see you soon"


After our coms clicked out I turned to Godfrey who was watching me with a bemused expression .. " What was that all about?" he asked me dropping the bag in his hands and taking me in his arms. Isighed resting my cheek on his chest. " Anakin agreed to come to the ceremony.. What day do you think maybe?"


He looked thoughtful for a moment then looked down at me, a smile on his face" Well I was thinking we could have 4 days to get settled in have the wedding on the fifth day which leaves us 2 days give or take for our honeymoon.." I looked up at him questioningly.. " Why do we need 2 days for our honeymoon hon?"


He chuckled and for the next minute or so I was being soundly deprived of air . When he finally let me up he grinned wickedly and whispered" I want to make sure we have all the time in the world.. So you can take your time.. I plan to with you.. "


My stomach was all knotty and jumpy but I just hugged him and kissed his nose beofre slipping away to gather the last of the bags " I have no idea what you're talking about but I'm sure you'll show me when you're ready.. "


Just then his com beeped.


He answered, a few choice words under his breath and I had to stifle a giggle. " Yes? oh.. okay I'll be right there.. "


He hung up and hugged me quickly" I have to go, one of the padawans got a broken arm in combat pratice.. see what happens when I have to get a sub?" he chuckled and hurried out the door" Love you! I'll be back later"


I smiled and collapsed onto the couch idly stroking Lisette. I was going to be married in less than a week to the best man in the whole world.. The sith were leaving me be.. Life was good.. it wasn't going to last for too long, I knew..

Til Later
Pho

A fairytale comming true..

I was paging through the grimorie looking for anything related to incubi and succubi whenever my com beeped. It was Bail Organa. I had called him earlier that day and told him about the puppies. He had agreed to come and see them at the temple later that afternoon, and he would bring Mon Mothma with him. His ship had just landed at the spaceport and he would arrive at the temple in 20 minutes. One look at my appreance, a tank top and a set of black silk boxers* coughs* don'task* I knew I needed a change and quickly.


As I was changing clothes to go meet Bail at the docks I realizied I hadn't seen Godfrey in about a week almost. Ever since he'd kissed me goodnight it was like he'd vanished like a dream.. HAD I been dreaming? The thought mulled over in my head as I yanked the black sweater over my head that read" Don't cross my path" put Odi's leash on her and led her down to the docks . The one thing I will say about the Viceroy is that he is one of the funniest men I have ever met, and also a very good listener.


When I made it to the docks he was dressed in the clothing of the royal house of Alderann and behind him stood Mon Mothma.. Smiling Bail knelt down and patted Odi's head and she promptly licked his hand panting up at him with big doe brown eyes. It made me laugh a bit, but
I felt a pang of regret in my heart. Sooner or later I would be alone again and it hurt a good deal. Mon Mothma saw the hurt in my eyes and she smiled gently and placed a hand on my shoulder.


" I see it in your eyes.. who's the lucky man?" she asked with a giggle as we walked back towards the temple, Odi pulling on the leash ,anxious to get back to her puppies.
I grinned , my heart dancing" This stays between us Mon Mothma?" she nodded and I continued" Somehow.. another Jedi.. his name is Godfrey Zebulon"


Mon Mothma's eyes went wide for a moment then she smiled knowingly then fell instep by Bail and whispered something in his ear and he chuckled as we turned the corner to the temple.. My arm was nearly yanked out of it's socket and we walked( or in Odi's case ran) into the temple .


She began whining and huffing trying to break free of me to get to her pups. When we got close to my room she broke loose and ran ahead,Belda following on her heels. I had to run after them, narrowly missing running headlong into a few others including Gar Gar who decided to get under my feet and almost tripped me. I was flying towards the floor whenever suddenly a familiar force presence flared to life next to me and I was narrowly saved from busting my nose on the floor. Whenever he pulled me back to my feet my forehead barely graced his nose.


" You allright?" he asked me, breath ghosting across my bangs making them flutter. My ears were turning pink because I knew Bail and Mon Mothma were watching this whole display.. " Yeah.. um I think so I.. " I tried to take a step and I crashed into Godfrey and we both went tumbling onto the floor, me landing on top of him and Mon Mothma burst out laughing closely followed by Bail.


I scrambled to my feet like I had touched a hot pan blushing badly.. Why did it feel so good to be lying like that? why did I want him to kiss me? Boy was I confused..
Finally thank the force we got to my room and Odi ran to her pups whining and yipping. Bail and Mon Mothma were utterly enchanted with the little ones They both agreed to take one puppy each and would also speak to some of their freinds in the Senate to see about adopting the others.


It was then that Godfrey had suggested taking Odi for a walk in the park.. Before we left he told me to change into cilvillan clothes and asked if Bail and Mon Mothma would like to come with us.. Offering a knowing smile Bail declined saying he needed to get back to his senatoral quaters and go out to purchase some things for the little boy, whom he decided to name.. of all things.. Onyx..


Once I had gotten changed we decided to leave the pups there for the present, come back and take them later once Odi was tired out.. it was a race to see who could get to the big tree under the park bench first.. He beat me by a half inch to be honest.. But.. oh force.. he kissed me.. for real.. gentle.. caring.. I could feel his emotions through the force and it was nothing but pure love.. I wanted to be close to him.. so it didnt matter where ended and I began.. Then he pulled back for a moment to look at me, his eyes were swirling with love.. oh.. I'm getting all mushy just writing about this.. But anyway, he slipped a claudaugh ring on my wedding finger and asked me if I would be his, forever and always.. if I would be his wife


What suprised me is how fast I said yes.


He was so happy! He pulled me up from the bench and kissed me, stealing any of my breath from my lungs. I don't know how I managed, but a whimper escaped my throat and I clutched his shoulders , my knees were wobbling like sticks in a storm. The park had built in sound system.. A guitar melody struck up, and he started singing.. since my brain turned to mush.. here's the lyrics.


Earth angel,Earth angel
Will you be mine
My darling dear
Love you all the time
Im just a fool,
A fool in love, with you
Earth angel Earth angelThe one I adore

Love you forever
And ever more
Im just a fool,
A fool in-love with you
I fell for you
And I knew
The vision of your lovliness
I hope and I pray,
That someday,
Ill be the vision of yourHappiness
Earth angel,
Earth angel
Please you be mine
My darling dearLove you all the time
Im just a fool,A fool in love, with you
I fell for you And I knewThe vision of your lovliness
I hope and I pray,That someday,Ill be the vision of yourHappiness
Earth angel,
Earth angel
Please you be mine
My darling dearLove you all the time
Im just a fool,A fool in love, with you


He treats me so well, I can't fathom how lucky I am to have him.. I don't care about tomorrow, I don't care about yesterday.. all I care about is the time I have with him.. He's asked me to come visit his home planet of Corellia and I gladly accepted .We're leaving next week on the pretesne of a diplomatic mission . I want to tell someone this wonderful news.. but who? My mind instantly set on Anakin.. I knew he could keep my secret.. and he would understand too .it would be risky because if the council tried to get ahold of him for a mission and all.. But I knew we could pull it off...

We're going shopping tomorrow for some new civillian clothes and I am pikcing up a copy of Reclamation and Cycle of time for Godfrey.. He still doesn't know who the author is.. and I'll tell him, but in my way.


I'll have Cin keep Odi and the pups while I'm gone. The fighter is small and it only fits us and Lisette. The 2 for Mon Mothma and Bail would go to them later this week . .. Nothing worries me right now, and that's unusal.. espically for me.
Til Later* giggles*
Pho

Helping and Healing

I haven't been the same for weeks now.. I am always looking over my shoulder, not knowing weather I will be attacked whenever I turn a corner or walk through a doorway. My nerves were a mess. I even jumped half a mile whenever Obi Wan came to check on me. I rursted no one, not even really Belda I am deeply ashamed to say. The only ones I trusted were Odi and Lisette.

I could feel Belda's worry and confusion that she did not understand why I was frightened. The information Jocasta gave me was most helpful and later that evening I consulted the grimorie for more information on how to excorsise crossbreed demons.


Catia was guiding me step by step as I reformed my lightsaber for just such a special puprose. The gateway ws only partway constructed in the archives , but the synth crystal I had found in Bane's hoocron was a force send. It is a special crystal that not only can cut through mortal foes but also those of the spiritual nature. I stuided religiously for another week it seemed though I knew it was only a few days before I sent the message to Mace.. That we needed to talk.. to meet me in the training room..


The air was like ice around me the moment I stepped through those doors. The room was dark, illiminated by the eerie glow of Mace's saber , which cast shadows off the walls of the room. his voice.. it was not his own as he spoke to me..
" Lovely.. your swordmaster will not save you this time.. you'll be mine my dear.. "


I said nothing but activated my black blade which caused him to take a step back. " How.. that is the synth crystal of Anubis!"


I gave him no leway but attacked head on, taking him down to the floor . He grinned then flipped me over , this time I was ready and kicked out with my feet sending him flying back into the wall. I was so focused on the battle before me I did not hear the door open. My saber was raised for the killing strike and I was bringing it down on his arm when a strong hand closed over my upper arm and dragged me back away from him as I was about to do something I knew I would regret..


"He's no threat now! stop!"


I turned about ready to kill whoever had stopped me then.. my heart nearly stopped..
I was looking into the eyes of someone very familiar.. but foregin at the same time.. " Ivan?"
He smiled gently " not anymore.. My name is Godfrey.. Godfrey Zebulon .. Through the nightmare you have survived you changed it all.. for the better or worse I don't know.. but what matters is now I'm here and I can help you through this.. You know.. I can help you.. let me protect you .. Let me help you heal.. "


Our eyes met for an instant and I knew.. it was like all of those years I had spent for pining over someone I could not have.. they all went up in flames.. I saw my destiny sitting in front of my eyes before me.. It was then I noticed the saber at his hip. He was not dressed in tunics and robes.. Instewad he was dressed in a simple civillan outfit of a red sweater, black jeans which clung VERY nicely may I add and black shoes.


" You're a Jedi?"


He chuckled and I could've melted right then and there.. " Just recently.. time space stuff.. I don't want to give you a headache"


Mace was rising from where I had knocked him out. I could feel and see it.. The energy of the incubi and succubi crossbreed was gone.. he was himself again.


Godfrey helped me to my feet and Mace was just about to come over whenever an image of what happened at the vaults flashed before my eyes.. " no! Mace.. stay away from me!" I backed up until I was back to chest with Godfrey who wrapped an arm around me protectively. Mace looked at me wide eyed and then he bakceed away slowly.. " Phobia.. I'm so sorry.. Oh force.. how blind have I been? Can you ever forgive me?"


I nodded " I can forgive you, but I don't know if I can trust you again"


He nodded briefly and left us in peace.. I turned to Godfrey,who gazed at me from behind a pair of geek glasses which I found utterly adorable. I felt safe, protected.. I collapsed in his arms and he picked me up off the mats and carried me clear back to my rooms. I drifted in and out for a time..

When I woke I was tucked into my bed in my room and Godfrey sat by my bedside stroking my forehead . I felt sort of like I had fever but it felt good. I wanted him next to me.. I wanted him to hold me but I was afraid to ask.. afraid where it might lead.. could I handle something like this so soon?


In response to my unspoken question he stood, kissed my forehead, my nose and briefly.. just ever so briefly my lips before using the force sleep suggestion on me and I fell into a dream like abyss.When I woke and he wasn't there I cried despretly like my heart had been broken but I saw the rose on my bedside table and the note


Meet you at breakfast.. then walk with me in the gardens?
Godfrey


I dressed in a whirlwind and pratically ran up the stairs to the cafeteria . There he sat waiting for me at my favroite table by the window the biggest smile on his face. I swear I was walking on air the whole morning..

We walked in the gardens after breakfast before I had to teach classes and he even danced with me.. Force he has the voice of an angel.. 9 am came too soon and I had to go teach the morning saber class since Cin was under the weather with a cold.

He was teaching the morning hand to hand combat class 1 floor down from me. My senses hummed and most of the knights noticed the change in me.. at one point one of them puleld me aside and warned me I was a little too excited and needed to calm down.Ii tried force I tried.. but I was so happy.. I wanted to float on a clooud.. I was in love.. despretly.. truly.. and completly in love
Til later
Pho

A chill to freeze my blood

I had to teach a few classes that afternoon so it was about somewhere after 6th chime before I was free. Belda was spending the evening with some of her freinds so for once in a while I was free. It was a relief actually . I had been juggling so many things I just needed to sit down and take stock of what had happened. In a matter of a few short days I had went from anomyus knight to keeper of one of the most sweetest, and sometimes puzzling padawans around. Not to mention there was the matter of the puppies who were currently sleeping.


I scratched Lisette's head and she purred" Remember when it was just us girl ? I know it seems a lot, but bear with me.. Soon it'll just be you me,Belda and Odi.." She curled herself into a ball and went to sleep. just then a message scrolled acorss my datapad. My heart jumped in my chest when I saw who it was from. Warning bells went off in my head. Mace wanted to meet me by the vaults downstairs to talk. He said he wanted to apologize for all he had done, that he'd come to his senses..


I grabbed my robe and headed downstairs, locking up after me. I knew it was vital I not be seen otherwise I could land us in a lot of trouble. After he had risked everything to bring the holocrons to me, I figured I could at least hear him out.
Arriving downstiars I saw the vault door standing open and swallowing slightly I walked inside.


All of a sudden I couldn't hear Catia, and I couldn't feel the force either. It was then I remembered that this vault was sealed off to keep the darkside aura away from the rest of the temple. I was turned towards the door and was about to run whenever I felt a hand close over my wrist. I turned and saw it was Mace" Your not going anywhere Phobia" he hissed pulling me to him. I tried kicking him but his grip tightened to the point I knew I would have brusies. He kissed me harshly and as I heard the sound of tearing fabric of my outer tunics a chill of fear raced through my veins.


" Mace please! NO! Don't do this! let me go!"I struggled to free myself from his ironlike grip. I knew if this continued.. I didn't want to think about it.. In desperation I fumbled for something I could hit him with to get away.. My hands fell on a miror and I shined it in his face. For a moment I saw what was truly the matter. He was under a curse.. His eyes in the miror were sith evil. He tossed it away before I could say a word. I was just about to give myself up for lost the panic growing inside of me my waves a moment.. The chill of the air hit my now nearly bare skin at the same instant as I heard footsteps down the corridor. .


I was crying and I didn't know what else to do.. I screamed aloud for someone.. anyone to help me.. I heard the hum of a lightsaber and I turned to see that my savior was the temple swordmaster Cin Draling. His face was the last thing I saw before I passed out


When I woke I was in the healer's ward. Cin was standing on one side of me watching over me worriedly. I tired to sit up but he gestured for me to lie still . I was still shaking when the healer came in to give the report. Master Draling had got there in time before anything had happened.

I was bruised all over and I felt sore all over The healer told me I could leave tonight if I wished but I was expected to go before the council in the morning to give my account of the event.She squeezed my hand gently" Phobia.. who.. who did this to you?"


Looking to make sure Cin was not within sight, I whispered" Tell no one of this but it was Mace.. he's .. not himself.. I can't explain it.. but he's being controlled. I need to find out who and what . I beg you keep this secret. I can't face the council. Not now.. not yet. Mace would never do this as his normal self.. please"
She nodded" Of course,anything you ask.. "


I felt the brief tap of Cin's hand on my shoulder letting me know he had returned" you going to be okay?" he asked" If you want to talk I'm here" .. I nodded" I'll be fine.. I'm sure Belda is wondering what's happened to me."


I rose sitffly from the bed and Cin handed me my boots. " In fact".. he never got to finish his sentance for right then Belda ran right in and hugged my knees, crying her little eyes out. " I heard what they said! Master! Please be okay!" I dropped to my knees and hugged her tight" I'll be okay Belda, I promise.. But remember one thing.. I always care for you.. no matter what. .You gave me a reason to fight, a reason to keep going.. Thank you Belda"

I picked her up and carried her back to our quaters. Tomorrow well tomorrow I didn't know what would happen. but I prepared myself for the absoulete worst. But I knew I would face it the best I knew how. I was hurt.. and scared. Dollie had scheduled me with the mind healer for the next month to try and help me get over this.


There was only one way for me to forget.. and that was to throw myself into my work.. Once I had put Belda to bedand after assuring her everything would be okay, I left the door open and went into the living room and poured out the sack onto the living room rug. Lisette tiptoed up to me and when she snifed my robes she arched her back and hissed. The intellegence of cats never ceased to amaze me. She knew.. and knew that I was hurt. She's very mellow but I get hurt and she will become your worst nightmare.


I made a mental note to keep her locked in my room for a while


One of the pups jumped onto my shoulder and started washing my face. I started to giggle a bit, then my giggles disolved into tears as I held the puppy close. My fingers traced the runes and one of the holocrons, Bane's actually sprang out of it. Out of it fell a synth crystal, black with silver veins. It was then I saw.. the begining of the gate...
Til Later
Pho

Shadows and Vapors, all the same

Late, very late that same evening I headed back to our rooms. Belda was dillegently working on her homework, which I have to say I was suprised she did so without a fuss. But then again, I saw the split eared grin on her face earlier that afternoon whenever the backs of my ears had decided to turn a very dark shade of pink whenever I missed a step in the current set I was working on and Obi Wan had to correct me.. Sometimes I am begining to wonder if Belda is too smart for her own good..

"She is.. now about our other problem..."


I wanted to scream and split my head in 2! " your not helping right now Catia and it's not OUR problem, it's MY problem. I will deal with this. I don't need your help.!" I was snappish, hungry and exhausted.


Belda looked up from her work, thinking I might be angry at her and a few well placed words had her set back on her work as I headed to the cooking area to make a light dinner for us.


" Look, Catia I'm sorry as much as I do appreciate the help, I want to be able to be able to stand on my own without help from you. There might come a time when you are no longer around and then what would I do huh? Sit and cry like a baby?"


" I'm sorry , your right. it's just I don't want to see what we have crash through the floor like a glass bowl."


I nodded mentally and while I was cooking dinner Belda kept casting glances over in my direction, probably wondering if all the stress had finally made me go off my rocker or if she had done something wrong.

Once dinner was finished, I brought a plate over to Belda and she looked up at me curiously.. " Master Deimos, who was that you were talking to ? "
She caught me by suprise, a good bit.. The only other person who had bee nable to see Catia was..


" I heard another lady's voice in the kitchen with you.. is she a freind of yours?"


I explained who Catia was over dinner. The expression on poor Belda's face was more so wide eyed shock than anything else. Then the topic turned to something even more intresting.. cake..
It seems that Belda's last class right before lunch was halfway across the temple And by the time she could get there, with all the no running rules and all there was hardly any desert left for her!.. Well this simply would not do..


I remembered very distinctly whenever I was younger I would have kp duty once a month.. and somehow Anakin always managed to get into trouble with Obi Wan that day.. of course me being my sympathetic self.. he helps me with dishes, I saved him a good centerpiece of the cake that yes.. I cooked. In my teens I became famous for my triple decker chocolate cake with fudge filling. I would make about 10 of those a month for the temple, and let me tell you one is a lot of work as it was..


So we pretty much came to a soulition. I would make 2 cakes a month for just us to share.. ( and of course if we had company and they were hungry, namely Anakin) so she wouldn't have to worry about it.. And from what I heard from Cin, they were skimping on the filling anyway.
I was just setting the dishes in the rack whenever I heard the doorchime. I went to answer it and I found no one standing there, but there was a sack on the mat. When I looked inside I paled and took into the apartment quickly, stashing it under my bed.


It wasn't until later I was able to see what it was in earnest. Someone had left me all of the holocrons in the vaults, save the Great Holocron which resided in the archives, which was where I would begin my work on the gate. I knew who had done this.. it was as plain as the note inside.. Mace.. in a pathetic attempt to win me over.. Well it wasn't going to work because I wouldn't let him be fooled by his own dilusions. When I reached for the nearest one an image of a crossbreed flashed across my mind.. Something was off..


I called Ms .Nu on my com and asked her to pull up whatever reasearch she could find on succubi and incubi and that I would come see her in the morning.Whenever she asked why I told her straight forward" I believe there may be a danger loose in the temple ..That the council knows and I'm only trying to help.." Satisfied she left and I climbed into bed with a weary mind. But not before locking the holocrons in the chest for safekeeping. I didn't need Belda getting her hands on one of those..


Still my dreams were tormented by nightmares... I find I am getting very little sleep these days and it's showing . But a little makeup never killed anyone, which I'd put some on to cover the dark circles under my eyes.. last thing I need is for someone to give me flack about sleeping enough.. I am doing all I can though I feel like I am being stretched like a ballon . Both mind and body. I really don't feel like I have recovered from that bout of sickness just yet.. Even his grave my brother still makes my life horrid.. huttslime..
Til Later
Pho

A wolf in sheep's clothing or is it?

It's late evening, 3 days after I got back from Korriban. The momma dog who I have named" Odyssia" or Odi for short is resting comfortably in her next with her pups. They are all allright and Belda is asleep quietly in the other room . For some reason I cannot sleep. A restless has taken hold of my mind and I cannot even meditate it is so bad. I pace from one end of the sitting area to the other, my hands behind my back trying to calm my racing nerves. I look at the crono on the wall. 3 AM.. why can't I seem to sleep?

All of a sudden there is a soft knock at my door.

Puzzled I throw on a fluffy robe over my cream silk nightgown before I answer the door. There stands Mace Windu and he seems rather.. nervous.. " Master Windu, what's the matter? it's past 3!" He's sweating slightly as he replies" It's a matter of utmost importance.. May I come in?" I invite him inside and gesture for him to take a seat, a finger pressed to my lips to indicate we should be quiet because of the little ones.


He took a seat on the couch and I headed over barefoot to thechair across from him. " I know it would be important for you to come.. what's wrong? you can tell me .. " He looks up at me , a fixed stare, a bold one. I can hear Catia angrily trying to break free. She does not trust him, never has. " Phobia.. I .. " his voice breaks.. " I care for you , more than I should.. In fact.. I love you.. I always have."

I stared open mouthed at him. what was he saying? The wind seemed to whistle through my ears and my heart pounding drowned out all conversation. Gasps left my mouth and my throat tightened. Mace love me? NO! the man was incapable of love, he never let anyone close to him ever! I saw him kneeling before me, taking my hands in his. I at last found my voice" Love me? you lie!"

He let me go and fell back apparently hurt. " I am a Jedi , I do not lie"

My eyes hardened and I rose from my chair" You DO lie I see it in your eyes. You only think you are in love with me. you are in love with a dead woman.. You love Depa! You only think to use me as a replacement! I know you never got over loosing her Mace, but this is not the way."
His voice was hard as steel" you sound EXCACTLY like him.. you know that?"
Heart was kicking madly in my chest. I did not want to betray any emotion for fear he would run to the council and it would be over right then, so I played dumb" Why whoever do you mean Mace?"

A stormy look crossed his features" Obi Wan.. I see the looks Phobia, don't play coy.. I know you love him.."


I could feel lightning gathering around my right hand, Mace was about to be a dead Jedi if he did not stop this.

He continued" Kenobi is a fool! He would have to be blind not to see how lucky he is! You are a beautiful woman, intellegent, loving, kind and loyal. Why he cannot see that is beyond me, but please give me a chance?"

I shook my head" If you were truthful I would, but you have lied to me thus far. you love a woman who is in another words dead. I will not play a replacement. "

" Replacement? I love you damnit! why can't you see? I always have!. Ever since you came here!"

Vocies were rising, but I was so angry I did not care " where were you whenever I needed someone to turn to? Someone who knew the darkness and could have helped me? Sitting on your damn council chair that's where! You didn't give a hutt underbelly what happened to me you nerf herder! you have no right to come in here and lay sweet lies at my feet whenever I have sturggled and scraped for every piece, every honor, everything I have made."


My heart was pounding so loud it was like a drum. Tears blinded my eyes but I would not give him the plesure of seeing them. I blinked them away I caught my reflection in the window. My eyes were no longer the soft brown they usually were. They were red.. sith red. All of my rage gathered into a spearhead and before I could stop myself I found my voice rising to a scream loud enough to wake the dead.


" Don't you DARE come here and try and tell me you speak the truth. You are a liar and the lowest piece of filth Mace Windu. Go back to where you were. I will bow to no one. I know why the council will not make a master! It is because I am too powerful! you fear me! Well you espically have damn good reason to fear me. I warn you now, cross my path again and it will NOT be pretty now GET OUT!"

Lightning was gathering until things started gathering around me. Mace's eyes grew wide and he stumbled backwards fumbling for the door.I was hurt, damn hurt. I knew all it would take is for Mace to say one word to Yoda and I would be out of the order. but I would not live in fear of him or anyone. I had fought too long , too hard to let someone trample on me now. Mace turned and ran out the door, scared. I could feel he was scared.. and I didn't care in fact I enjoyed it.. every last second of it.

The moment the door slammed Belda came out of her room in her pj's with her blanket . She was crying bitterly. I immeditly regretted raising my voice to Mace. I should have known better. I knelt down and ruffled her hair slightly. " I'm sorry about all of the noise Belda.. the ah.. " Force how was I going to explain screaming at a council member?

I just hugged her tightly, trying to hold back a tornado of tears and broken sobs that threatened to escape me. She wouldn't understand what was going on, nor did I expect her to. I wondered briefly if anyone else had heard the argument.. I doubted it considering the VERY obscure location of my room .I reached for a hankcherief and wiped away her tears. " shh It's okay.. " I whispered pulling her close as i got to my feet and took a seat where Mace had bee not five minutes beofre

" Master? are you okay? what happened? I heard shouting.. ". I barely noticed my eyes were back to normal, but I didn't feel like they were. I couldn't let her get involved in this . I shook my head" it's okay, let's go check on the pups and the mother, then you need to get back to bed "

Nodding, we checked on the pups, they were all okay.


It took me nearly an hour and a half to get her back to sleep. I told her at least three stories , and by the third she had dropped off to sleep , her small hand in mine. Every time I tried to get up, she refused to let me go. Finally about 430 or 5 in the morning she let my hand go and rolled over in her sleep. I gestured for Lisette to keep a watch on her. Leaving the door open I padded to the sitting area, the emotional damn I had constructd about to burst

I went over to the cushioned window ledge. I shrugged the robe off my shoulders and force help me I broke into a million tiny pieces. I cried until tears wouldn't come anymore. My red puffy eyes met the crono.. It was now almost 6.. I had to be up at 7.. Sighing I tucked my knees under me, pulled my robe up for a blanket and went to sleep.. for a little while, maybe sleep could ease the new troubles on my mind.. Though I did feel like I was being watched..
Til later
Pho

The Curse of my Family part 6( Escape from Korriban and a new discovery)

As the morning sunlight first woke me, I could feel the force humming around me like a bee's nest.I had finally been healed. So before Belda awoke I headed back to the canyon cave where my brother's fighter was stored. With some good fortune he had steel trunks with locks in the back, all the keys present. So my first order of buisness was to start loading the bigger artifacts into the cases and moving them over by the far wall.

Swords, statues, you name it it was there. I could feel Catia astral projecting herself to work side by side with me. It was like a sort of rubbery shield around my psyche and my body to protect me from the darkness of the artifacts. One by one the trunks were sealed and placed into the far corner where I woud place them in the cargo hold of my fighter later on.


I did find some intresting things though.. A staff . It was polished ivory and was coated in ancient runes. Images flashed before my eyes of great wars in years past. I was so startled I almost dropped the staff . I must have hit a sort of secret compartment because a piece of parchment.. yes you heard me right.. parchment tumbled out from the hiding place. I unfolded it carefully not wanting to rip it.

Across the top was scrawled in hasty writing" The nexus gate" . As I kept reading my hands began to shake. It seemed too good to be true.. This could solve all of the problems of what was going to happen.. No one's life would have to be sacrificed for peace to be brought to the galaxy.. all it took was a simple matter of gathering the holocrons..


I was near to tears in my joy as I kept loading things into the chests.. 7 chests worth of artifacts already.. sheesh.. I pocketed the holocrons in a sperate bag.. as well as the star map.. and the sword I wrapped in my outer robe. I could not let the council have these.. not now.. not yet. Not when a soulition was soo close. I highly considered speaking with Kurama but decided against it. He would be as bad as Obi Wan .. I had to smile at that.. Those two were so much alike, I don't think they even realizied it.Same thing with Yusuke and Anakin.


I shook my head clearing it of fond memories for the present.. too many distractions and I could get myself killed. Yama wouldn't be happy with me. . I packed up what was left and moved the trunks to my fighter. I was actually wondering where Anakin was.. if he got back yet and if I could smack his sorry head in when I got back for causing me this much mess.. But then again, it was benifical.. so I could let him off .. maybe.


Once everything was ready I wen back to find Belda. She was packing everything up whenever I heard a low whining from somewhere nearby. I whispered for her to be silent and I went along the cave wall , listening intently. I found a small pit, about as big as Belda was and in it.. you won't believe this.. was a dog.. poor gal was scared to death and to make matters even more complicated, she was a mother.. the whining I had heard was comming from a litter of puppies.. a big litter too at that.. I counted at least 9 if not more. They were cold.. the mom was hungry and we neded to get back to Coruscant so I could get them all to the veternary clinic. I would not leave them here to fend for themselves and die.


" Belda come over here and help me !" I called to her. She was standing on the outside of the pit peering in curiously. Hopping in next to me she brought down the spare blankets and other materials we'd need. The mother watched as I gently wrapped her babies up in a big blue fuzzy blanket before lifting her herself out and getting them situated in the back of the fighter.. at this rate it'd be a mriacle if Belda and I would fit.


Somehow we managed to and we took off for home at last.. On the way there Belda asked me" What do you think the council is going to say to you bringing a litter of pups home with seven trunkfuls of sith artifacts? "


I blinked.. " truthfully I 've got no clue. but I won't let them turn thse pups up to an animal shelter.. not yet.. I know I can find them good homes.. in fact.. I think I know of a few senators who have been speaking of wanting a dog.. " I remembered Senator Organa and Senator Mon Mothma were two of them.. I know they would treat these darlings well. until then they'll stay with me.


". Belda I warn you.. it might seem a tad crowded in my rooms for a bit til we get these little guys homes, but it's quite comfortable there.. if a little hard to remember. First thing we need to do once we land is get these artifacts inside to the council at once.. they are too dangerous to be kept out in the open. then as soon as everything is over .. We need to get these little ones to the clinic. They need to be checked over and so does the mother.. "
Belda nodded smiling" They are adorable aren't they? why would someone leave them out in the cold like that Master Phobia?:


I swallowed.. For the first time.. I saw red.. not just ticked off red.. but sith red. and it was all me, not Catia.. I could feel her suprise and I answered thinly" People are cruel Belda.. they give no thought for life, human or animal.. It's sick and disgusting that they throw away a perfectly loving animal just because she was going to have puppies. They should have taken the precautions, not abondened her for something she did not cause!" My fist hit the control panel and sparks flew but we remained aloft.


I couldn't believe I had just done that.. didn't want to see the dent I had made in the nearly unbendable durasteel. Belda scooted a little closer to where I was sitting. Her voice was low and quiet, but thoughtful" you feel very strongly about this don't you Master Phobia?"
I nodded" Yes Belda I do.. It's not right tp punish someone, be it human or animal for a crime they did not commit. The real crimnal here is ignorance and stupidity. " I shook my head. We were comming in on Coruscant. I radioed down to get the landing clearences and once we were all clear I steered my fighter for the temple.

It felt ood to be home.. no matter the unrest I could feel growing, even in the place I called home.As soon as we were back I told Belda to stay with the puppies and I went to find Master Yoda. I would need him to open the doors to the vault where the artifacts were kept, since he was the only one who I could trust to do this without questions, at least for the present.
His suprise was imense whenever I found him heading down to the cafeteria.

Whenever I explained that I had brought back things that needed to be locked away in the vault below the 2 basement level he agreed and followed me back to the fighter. Belda had hopped down to bring the momma and her babies a little closer so she could make sure all of them were okay.. What followed next has to be one of the reasons why I adore Yoda.


He saw the momma and her pups and he hobbled over , grimer stick and all . he reaches out to the mother, such a warm smile on his face and pats her head, then smiles down at the pups.. They didn't know it , their eyes were still closed. " A good thing you have done Phobia.. hope and light you have brought to the temple.. "


I explained to him that I was thinking of seeing if any of the senators would like to have a dog, that I knew at least Mon Mothma and Bail were speaking of it at one point and he nodded his head smiling, eyes closed. " Best plan this is.. when they mature, they will go to their famlies. For now the temple shall be their home. Maybe adopt one of them I will."


With a wave of his hand all seven trunks flew to him and he nodded, which I meant I knew I had been dismissed for now. I got back in my fighter and asked Belda if she wanted to come along. She was more than happy to. After I had changed into civillian clothes from my room and picked up some credits to pay the veternarian, who I had run into a few weeks prior( which was how I knew where the clinic was) we were off. Little did I know what I was getting myself in for...

Til Later
Pho

The curse of my family pt 5 ( words of wisdom,confusion of the mind)

" More news we have for you concerning your brother.. "

I sat indian style by firelight and nodded" Yes Master? The battle came out as expected.. I buried him under the cliffs. Though he caused us trouble.. He's still my brother. It's the one kindness I could do for him"

Yoda nodded" A kind heart you have. Much to learn from you a padawan would"
My eyes got big as saucers. A padawan? He was joking right? I had of course considered it but it really hadn't come up..

" Joking I am not.. Did you know about the dissapearance of Belda's Master CeCe Denowai ?"
I nodded " Yes Belda had told me of what she knew .. She is very upset by her disaperance. Master Yoda.. I know I should not pry.. but do you know where she is? I would like to be able to give Belda something of a straight answer"

Yoda chuckled and his grimer stick tapped on the floor" You see? a kind loving heart you have. Wanting to help Belda yes?"

I nodded ,a wry smile crossing my face. After all these years, Yoda could read me like a book. Well most of the time..

" Then I have a suggestion for you.. Belda is in need of a Master, at least temporarily until CeCe Denowai is found.. Would you like to become her master? "

I had to say, I was speechless. " Master Yoda, I do not know what to say.. Might I have some time to think on this? "

He nodded" The council will expect an answer upon your return then." The holo clicked out.
You're probably wondering ho this could happen since I have not been elavated to the rank of master yet. Well it's in truth because of the war. The masters are fighting and dying out in the field. For every one sepratist they loose 50 take his place, for every Jedi master we loose, no one take their place.

So now I had heard rumors of the council waving the requirment in some special cases that a knight had to be a master before they could take on a padawan. A surplus of knights and a shortage of masters.. It was the only reasonable soulition.And besides this would only be temporary until her master was found and returned safely. Maybe Yoda wanted to test me.. maybe this was all a big joke.. I really didn't know what to think..

I sat back on my hands by the fire, my head spinning.. ME becoem a master? Even temporarily? I had to admit.. The idea did sound appealing to me.. In just 2 short days Belda had become like a daughter to me.. though I didn't want to admit it. I looked over t her sleeping figure curled up near the cave wall . I wouldn't give my answer to Yoda and the others without speaking to her first. She had as much of a say in this as I did. I figured I would speak to her in the morning.

I was just about to dirft off whenever a cold wind blew the fire out and a darkside presence filled the cave. I was on my feet, my saber ignited in a few short seconds. I could make out a ghostly figure by the light and it's hands were reaching out for Belda!. Remembering the few short lessons I had learned in astral casting I brought my saber down on the ghoul ansd it dissapeared. I hurriedly reignited the fire and I was able to see Belda. Her knees were curled to her chest and her eyes were wide in fear. " i-is he gone?" she asked me, her lower lip trembling slightly.

" Yes he's gone.. That was Phantom Evil I take it?"

She nodded, and then burst into tears. All that night until she finally fell asleep, I cradled her in my arms, doing what I could to comfort her. She was scared and rightfully so, it takes a lot of power in general to be able to astral project. This was one powerful sith.. and then a thought occured to me.. could it be.. Darth Sidious?

All that night I stayed awake, I turned this condrum over and over in my head. by morning's light I had decided that yes .. If Belda would have me as her master, I would take the council's offer. If she would not, then I would still help her defeat Phantom Evil, but I would tell the council no.

Just then Belda stirred from her pillow, which happened to be my shoulder. " Morning Belda.. You feeling better? "She seemed a tad bit confused then nodded. " Belda.. you know Master Yoda called last night right? Well he had a question for me .. and it concerns you.. would you like to know what he asked me?"
As she rose and began making things for breakfast I stopped her" Let me.. go grab a seat and I'll tell you what he asked me"

She headed back over and took a seat on the blanket that had been abondened sometime before.. I think she had thrown it off whenever she got up that morning." What Master Yoda called me about is .. well you" I really wasn't sure how to say this, because I could feel that she missed CeCe geatly. It had caught me off guard too when I had first heard to be truthful." He asked me if I would like to become your temporary master.. At least until CeCe returns.. "

I stopped working and I turned to look her straight in the eye" The decesion is yours Belda. I wwill not force this on you. if you say no then my answer is no. If you agree then I will tell the council yes. The only thing is, Master Yoda expects an answer upon our return to the temple. We are leaving possibly later today. I need to test my strength to see if I am ready to go back. or not. There are some things that the council wants brought back that I found from Granta's collection.They are dangerous artifacts and I will not leave here until I am strong enough to transport them on my own"

Belda nodded solemly and I turned to watch the skies for a while. A tightening in my heart and suddenly my thoughts were pulled down a most unexpected path.. I was wondering if he was okay.. if the council was giving him grief. I hated to admit it.. I really did.. but I missed him.. I missed the temple.. I just wanted life to go back to normal.. Hey waitaminute! Who was I kidding.. life was never normal for me. I heard Catia chuckle in my head " You got that right.. Force Pho, I wish I could make things diffrent for you.. If I could , I would do it in a heartbeat.. No spells, no enchantments.. I'm sorry..I'm not much of a freind am I?"

A single tear slipped down my cheek" It's not you Catia.. I know you would if you could.. But some things just are not meant to be. i just have to content myself with being a freind. No matter my own personal feelings on the matter.. Simply put, Jedi do not have feelings like that..

"I will not , can not admit my feelings. They are foolish and besides.. He's much too good for me"
I could hear Belda padding up behind me. " Are you allright Master Deimos?" she asked, sitting down next to me. Not even looking at her I nodded. She would not understand what I was feeling. In fact I half expected her to crinkle her nose in utter disgust at such an idea.I removed a small holo clip from my belt and pressed the activation button.

It was from when I was younger.. I think maybe 15.. As a reward for our great work rewiring the temple computers and redoing the plumbing( Mace was too cheap to hire pros) Obi wan had taken Anakin and I to the carnival. It was one of the happiest days of my life. The sun was shining and the mantle of darkness that had ensnared us all in it's grip was millenia away, or so it seemed.

Force I could even recall the taste of the cotton candy I had that day.. It was lime flavored. I remember Anakin trying to steal it and I sent him flying into the dunktank. I'm not sure who laughed harder, me or Obi Wan. A time I miss, when we were happy, when we were free. I still carry one trinket besides this holo clip from that perfect afternoon. A simple necklace. No inscription. Silver with an emerald and a sapphire in each end. it held a pciture of him.. I know I should have gotten rid of it long ago, but I didn't have the heart. I still don't to be frank.

I turned to Belda and looked upon her with semi sad eyes" You have such beautiful light Belda.. So bright it almost blinds me.. you remind me why I still fight..I am tired Belda.. tired of fighting.. I have fought all these years for peace for everyone.. but I have not been able to find peace for myself. I hear the screams of those who have fallen under my saber. The stench of blood permeates my clothes, my skin, my mind..The screams of the dying haunt my dreams.. Glowing green eyes of fire, darkness all around me closing in.. A small jewel of light I hang onto.. but sooner or later that jewel will turn to blackness and all will be lost."

My mind is haunted by images of the future of what will become of my brother.. I do not know what I should do. So many choices.. It's like I am being blown like a leaf in the wind. I will not lie.. I crave his smile, his nearness, his presence like I crave nothing else. So much so it has become a drug to me.

I know I will not be able to keep it hidden for much longer. When that time comes.. I have made my choice.. I will travel through the portal one last time.. .. Sequester myself in the future where this secret cannot reach me. Take what I treasure most with me and never return. Even if I must live apart from Ivan.. I will.. I cannot let this touch those who I care for.. Wait! Leaving would hurt them just as bad if not worse.. I do not know what is right and what is wrong anymore..

Oh force help me.. please.. if I don't figure this out soon, this might prove to be the path of my ultimite destruction.. like it almsot destroyed Erifia...I know I am stronger.. or am I?
Til Later
Phobia

The curse of my family pt 4 ( An unexpected call)

It was early whenever I woke. Belda had been watching over me while I had slept it seemed because she was sprawled out on the cave floor asleep. Smiling I rose and tucked the blanket over her before moving off into the morning fog that rolled into the planet.
I had things to do.

The first thing I did was.. as much trouble as he caused me and the Jedi, I gave my brother a respectable burial. He was family and I would have liked to think dad would've wanted it that way.

Once that was done, I hunted down my brother's fighter and found something rather unexpected..

A treasure trove of sith artifacts.. There were no less than 4 holocrons, a star map.. the sword which I recgonized as Naga Sadow's ,and a staff.. which I didn't quite recgonize.. but I knew was important.

I pounded my head angrily against the durasteel door. It would take me another day to retrieve these and get them safely stored in the fight for the transport trip back to Coruscant.

And I would have to have up powerful shields around them to keep Belda from sensing them and getting spooked. The fighter was hidden in an alcove which I made sure was inaccessible to other beings before I left..

So I made sure they were well hidden and decided to explore the valley more in depth. I spent the whole day, climbing exploring caves and meditating to regain my strength.

I always kept a watchful eye on Belda with the force to make sure she was safe and sound. She encountered no trouble during the day. At sunset I went back to camp and found her kneeling by a small fire. When she saw me return she ran up and greeted me with a fierce hug. " Master Deimos! your feeling better?"

I hugged her back and nodded" Yes I am feeling a lot better, but I 'm really tired, but I would like to hear about your day very much Belda" Smiling she proceeded to tell me about her day in great length about all the places she'd been to , what she had done, what sort of animals she had met..I had asked her if she felt any other dark presences in the Valley.

She said she hadn't felt anything there except for a twinge from Phantom Evil..

She explained to me about Phantom Evil in great detail. His nightly visits.. How he terrified her into not seeking help from anyone.. it seemed I was one of the few who even KNEW about Phantom Evil's presence.

The first thing I was going to do when I got back my strength and got back home was consult the grimorie for a spell to banish astral projections and one to battle in the astral world. If I needed to I would fight this demon to protect belda.. Now don't get me wrong I love kids to death, but I felt some sort of special connection with Belda that I have never felt with any other child.. and I could tell, she could feel it too.

She told me of her family, what she knew and I told her of mine of what I knew. We were 2 peas in a pod Belda and I , and to be honest I was sorry to see our time on Korriban come to an end , but it was going to have to sooner or later. As the moon rose over the planet, the projector went off by firelight and I answered.

It was Master Yoda.. whatever it was.. it was very important for him to be calling himself..
TBC
Phobia

The Curse of my Family pt 3

Cold feelings shot up and down my spine. I knew this was not good, not good at all. I could hear Omega calling out to the spirits of the graveyard.. Wait.. graveyeard? A sudden shock of horror made me realize he had dictated this fight all along, where it would be what terms, all of it. it made me sick.

I moved in front of the cave where Belda was , as a means of protection. There was no way that girl would be hurt so long as I still drew breath in my body. I reached for Catia and found her waiting and eager to fight. " Cut loose with all of your power.. hold nothing back. Omega does not deserve that sort of pity" An evil smile was etched on my face.. I hoped Belda was not watching this.. Wave after wave of dark power rolled off of me.. and I notced a change. .my hair was becoming darker and my eyes.. in the lake I could see.. they were blue now..

" So it seems I am in the presence of my old master" the voice of my brother sounded over the valley like a sonic boom.. That was not Omega.. A force presence similar to Catia's was in his place. One saber near the shoulder the other dragging slightly she locked eyes with him . " well I didn't think I would see you again still in the land of the living Master Ravenstone.. but I see you have become weak"

We circled each other" That makes two of us Bane, but I am not the one who is weak"

" Oh really? then what are you doing with a Jedi? Take over her body and follow me so we can rule together as it should have been!"

A cold icy glare stopped him dead in his tracks. " No Bane, I have my own design and you are not part of of it. Now stop this foolishness and come with me. I do not want to fight you.. "

" NEVER!"

Darkside energy was so thick you could cut it with a hundred sabers. Wave after continious wave. The valley was soon pitch black with energy. In the nearby cave I could feel Belda's fear through the force. I knew better than to reach out to her now. I could infect her with the dark.. Ghosts of numerous dead sith swirled around us and the only lights were from our sabers as we dueled . There were some torches lit. That was all the light we had.

I could retell the fight blow by blow but that'd take all week. Hours later, omega had given up on Bane and sent him back to the Netherworld. Next he called upon an evne older sith.. Naga Sadow. He was even before Catia's time, being the cause of the Great Hyperspace Wars. Omega began calling fourth ghouls to go after Belda.. He had found her!

I did a backflip over Omega's head and landed next to Belda who had powered up the light whip but was not using it. She stood there shaking in fear. My sabers swung in a powerful harmonizing movement and I called out to her through the howling winds" They only have power over you if you let them Belda! fight! You must fight to overcome your fear!" I was tiring.. this much was certain .. " Please.. Belda I need your help! I can't do this alone! " too much more and Catia wouldn't be able to sustain this form and I would be on my own.. if she couldn't sustain it.. I was as good as dead.

More and more spirits poured around us. I swung my sabers wildly, trying to fend them all off.My arms were growing heavier and heavier. It was all I could do to hold myself upright now.. any second this form would be snuffed out.. Then Belda began to glow. I could tell she was tapping into the force , calling for aid.

Whenever I thought I could bear no more I felt someone guiding my arms, like I was a padawan just learning my first movmeents with a saber again. I knew those ghostly hands as well as I knew myself.. I wanted to turn but the voice spoke to me" do not turn around whatever you do. He would take the chance to strike you down." The voice was female. Belda didn't quite know what was going on I don't think.. But all of a sudden she elt out an exicted cry.. " Master Qui Gon!": I caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye. Just as I remembered him that day in the archive.

" Join your power with ours. together we can defeat this demon!" my master said to me and I did as instructed and suddely I felt like I could fight like this for years.. eons.. "You don't have that long.. only until sunrise.. then we must leave you.. " Qui Gon said, looking sad for the first time in.. many many years.

Together I fought off the ghouls easily. Time passed and soon it was sunrise. Just as my master and Qui Gon departed the living world I struck down my brother. I collapsed to the ground , exhausted and depelated of almost all of my force strength. There was no way I could reach out to let anyone know I was allright. So I weakly motioned for Belda to come over to me. Patting the ground next to where I was . She knelt down and in a hoarse and raspy voice I told her to go back to the fighter and bring me the holorpojector .

Once she came back with that and some blankets and supplies for camp I set the projector up and wearily realyed my story to the council . I told them that if they wanted Belda back there right away someone would have to come to Korriban because I would be in no condition to travel for at least 2 days while my force strength recovered . Once I had sent my message to the council, I leaned back on the makeshift cot Belda had made for me. Since we had no where to go for a while I began telling her my story in between getting drinks of water. Then she told me her story.. Her new master recently going missing.. her trying to fit in..

What troubled me the most was about this Phantom Evil that kept haunting Belda.. He didn't sound like a ghost , because she tried telling him he had no power and he just laughed. normally with 99.9 perent of ghosts.. that works.. To me it sounded like an astral projection.. I told Belda to sleep for now. I placed some candles that warded off darkside energy by the cave just in case until dawn. then I ended up droopping off like a lead brick.

TBC
Phobia

The curse of my family part 2

Ctd from last post

Chills raced through my body as I stared in utter horror at the image before me. I recgonzied those eyes. So like my father's, but they were not. These eyes belonged to those of a madman." Hello Omega..to what do I owe the displeasure of this call?"

At this his face scoweled and it looked like he would have used force lightning on me if he could have. But he calmed himself in a hurry and placed his hands behind his back in a true CEO fashion" simple sister. I want to see if you are Jedi enough to meet me somehwere for a duel"

I snorted and began pacing slightly" And what makes you think I would do that?"

He sounded smug.. too smug " Simple.. The lives of all of all Coruscant are in your hands. Will you let yourself be responsible for the deaths of millions?!"

Okay I was getting pissed, and fast. Ripping his throat out sounded pretty fun right now.. " Allright spill it, what did you do?"

He smiled. .the rat bastard smiled at me then continued" Simple, my workers have planted 2 bombs, one inside your precaious temple down in the basement.. I believe right where that machiene is.. "

I was just about to run out of the room and go take a look to see if it was true, whenever the sound of his voice stopped me.

"ah ah.. I'm not done yet, the second is planted at the core of Coruscant. These bombs are specially made that if they are tampered with using the force, wires cut, or fiddled with in any way, they will go off. And each bomb has enough power to blow up several planets. So think carefully sister. Here are my terms. you fly to the Valley of the Sith Lords on Korriban. There you and I will battle to determine who is better. Once your ship reaches the sector I will raido the codes to disarm the bomb to the council .Once your ship touches down, you must cut all transmissions.you have one hour to decide":


His hologram clicked off and I turned to the council members, all wore grave and worried expressions. " Let me see the bomb, I might be able to disarm it!" Yoda's head shook in disagreement" Too dangerous it is for you.. Also we must worry about the safety of all the citizens."

In utter desperation, I turned to Obi Wan.. "I'm about the only person here who could even stand a chance at disarming it.. let me at least try.. I didn't hang around with Anakin for nothing you know.."

Ever so reluctently, he nodded and I was lead downstairs to the basement of the temple where the machiene had been kept.More like the pieces that was.. Sure enough, right where the holocron would have been there was this gigantic bomb.. wires all over the place and it looked like a big steel lunchbox to be honest. I looked it over.. " Type A class 66 bomb, thermal detnator.. crap.. " I turned back to Yoda..

" I'm sorry.. I can't dismantle it on my own I would need help , and not to be rude to anyone present, and forgive me if this does sound rude, but I would only trust Anakin with something like this. Any chance he got back yet? "

Master Kenobi shook his head negative.

I stalked back up the stairs, infuraiated. I tried hailing anakin on my com.. Nothing.. tired getting R2 to relay him a 911 to get back here immeditly.. Nothing..

I rubbed my temples with my free hand.. He had me backed into a corner and he knew it. Damnit Anakin why did you have to pick NOW to leave?

------------------ An hour later

" Omega I agree to all of your terms, but if you do not keep your word, there is no rock that will hide you from my wrath. I will be there in a few hours"

" Good then sister I shall see you soon" the holo went dead

I turned to the assembled council " Look to be frank I know you don't want me going. But I did not ask for this.. I did not seek him out to antagonize him. He found me. Okay? But I will be damned if I stand by and let him wipe out millions of lives. "

Before I left the council room I said to Obi Wan" If my bastard of a brother ends up killing me, do me a favor, kill Anakin .. please"

He didn't say anything but he looked at me worriedly and said" Please, be careful. I don't know why but if Omega is anything like his father he will pull any trick in the book. Expect the unexpected."

That remark rather ticked me off but I realizied that he was only worried about me but kept my mouth shut for the sake of time and just replied" Look, the real reason why Xanatos turned wasn't because of power. I don't have time to go into details, but I will explain it when I get back okay and for future refrence I am NOTHING like him got it?" I ran out of the room leaving a stunned and probably a rather angry Obi Wan.

I went back to my room long enough to feed Lisette and set out a few things before I headed to my fighter. I spared a passing glance to the kitchens as I passed . My stomach rumbled angrily at having been denied lunch.I wanted to get something to take with me to eat on the way but I checked my crono and realizied I didn't have enough time . Seeing the same padawan I had seen a while ago hurrying past I stopped her and asked her what her name was. .

" Oh.. my name is Belda Pinik.. You must be Master Deimos aren't you? The council is talking about you.. " she looked down at her feet, seemingly overcome by a bout of shyness.

" Belda.. that's a very pretty name.. can you do me a fast favor Belda? Can you run to the kitchens and get one of the small packs that they leave for knights and padawans who are departing and don't have time for a proper meal? I will write you a note in case this makes you late for classes"

" Of course Master Deimos I 'll be right back ! " she took off running and I reached to make sure I had my spare lightsaber. Crap! I didn't have it.. So that meant a fast trip back to my room. By then I was running so late I didn't have the time to wait for Belda. My stomach was going to hate me later but I had to go.

I got in my fighter which was detailed with rosevines on the wings and took off.Korriban was in the Outer Rim territory so I had a bit to go , even with the hyperdrive engines. Just as I was leaning back in the seat, my foot bumped the blanket I kept in the back which was strangely rumpled. I lifted and found... BELDA? My forehead hit my hand .. Gods I couldn't believe it..

As my fighter drifted closer to Korriban I knew what needed to be done. I shook Belda awake. at first she looked calm but then when she realizied where she was she cringed and looked down at the floor, wise enough to try not to make any excuses but she asked" what's going to happen to me now?"

I sighed running a hand through my hair. " It's too late to take you back to the temple Belda, you are going to have to come with me to Korriban . Listen" I rummaged in my robes and pulled out the lightsaber whip I had made . I handed it to her with a stern look." This is a lightsaber whip. It's more versatile and more dangerous than a regular saber.This is the only spare weapon I can afford to give you since your saber is not completed yet. Do not use it unless you must."

I showed her how it worked. She seemed awed and glad that I trusted her with such an important weapon. We were in the planet's atmosphere before my computer clicked on. I had instructed Belda to hide.. I didn't need Omega finding out I had a passenger.

" Allright. I am here.. now give me the codes"

" Of course dear sister.. but land the ship first."

I had no choice but to do as I was told . Once my ship touched down I told Belda to "stay hidden and do not come out unless you are in grave danger" The codes ran across the computer and I transmitted them to the council and then closed down all comminucations. I gave belda my spare com and told her if I fell in battle that she was to punch in code 211 to the council directly and tell them what had happened.

After making sure she was well hidden I followed Omega's lifeforce signature to a circle of caves. there was only one way in and one way out. One of us would never walk out of here.. and it was going to be him.

Igniting the blue and green blades I crossed them and waited, my hair whipping in the breeze. Omega ignited his lightsaber and reached for another sword on his back. then a dark presence swept the valley. I knew in the pit of my stomach what he was planning to do, but I couldn't fathom it. That power had not existed for millenia. The power to call ghosts..

Omega.. he was .. a shaman

TBC
Pho

The curse of my family part 1

I had been sick for about a week straight now.. Anakin was still not back and I could tell those who normally see me mostly everyday were begining to worry. So it wasn't like I had much of a choice. I had to go the healer's. Barriss wasstill missing so I was with Dollie as usual. She was not frightened of me as she once had been whenever Catia had awoken from her 300 year sleep. needless to say I thought by the time Dollie was through with me, I was going to be dead.

Blood tests upon blood tests. By the time she was done I felt like a pin cushion. Medicine after medicine and hours of force trances to try and heal myself. Nothing worked. Dollie was just about to call for Master Yoda and a few of the others whenever she reached for a small flask on her belt and handed it to me" You better hope this works honey.. or else you're in for a worse road than you just were over."

I shrugged and took the flask. What did I have to loose?

A warmth spread over me as soon as I ingested it and a black smoke began to rise from my skin and cloud the whole ward. Dollie ran to open the windows and the more smoke left me, the better I felt. It was like a demon had possessed me and pratically drained all of my strength.

Finally oh force finally I felt like I could actually to move. I got up from the cot and walked around stretching trying to get feeling back into my limbs. I still felt weak, but I could function and my stomach didn't feel like it was on a constant roller coaster.

Patting me on the shoulder Dollie said" I am sure you have a lot of important thigns to catch up on darling.. I will get this blood to the lab as soon as I can okay? I'll call you whenever I get the results" Wrapping a thick robe around my nightgown i headed back to my room. My feet were bare, pretty much ensuring I would end up with a cold sometime soon.

I was stopped by a few of the masters, asking after me, wondering if I was feeling better. Heck even Master Yoda asked if I was feeling better. That made me feel really good.. I didn't think many really cared all that much. I just felt like I was a nameless face in the crowd.. It gave me a whole new respect for Yoda .

As soon as I got back to my room, I dressed and headed straight for the archives. The whole scenario with Omega was burning in my mind like a warning bell. I could not put my finger on it, but something was going to happen and soon . VERY soon.

It was almost early the next morning whenever the archivist Jocasta Nu found me, curled up on the couch reading.. Again.. You see when I was very little.. I would come in here and read and read.. hours and hours on end. I would read anything I could get my little hands on. By the time i was 9 I had read almost half of the archives. Even the most boring books to most were fascinating to me.

From the archives comes a special memory of mine, I should share it with you. It's funny in a way.But also really sad.. You'll see why..

You see, there was this one book on datapad I was looking for. It was high high up on the topmost shelf . All of the archivists were busy and didn't have time to climb up and get it for me. So me being my curious self.. I climbed up to get it . My little fingers had just managed to grab it when the whole bookcase tilted and I went crashing head first to the ground. . At that moment Qui Gon and Obi Wan had just walked in.

I remembered seeing a huge bookcase falling towards me and the next thing I knew Qui Gon had snatched me out of the way and had set me upright on my feet. Jocasta Nu and about 2 other archivists came running over to see what had happened.

I distinctly remember it was all Obi Wan could do not to burst out laughing .. Ms. Nu was livid.. but after much apologizing and explaining what had happened she did not ban me from the archives , but instead made me resort and refile all of the archives systems. It proved to be a valuable lesson for me, and also I pretty much knew where everything was from that day forward. And when I was pulled out of the pile of books, I still had my datapad.

That was 2 weeks before Qui Gon and Obi Wan were deployed to Naboo.. I never got to say thank you, or goodbye.. Force I miss him.. But back to my story.

Jocasta pretty much knows that if I am in the archives late I would be there all night. So whenever I dozed off with a datapad in my hands and woke at 3 am with a blanket around my shoulders, I wasn't really suprised. I kept reading.. I found all I could about my brother..

His full name was Granta Omega and he was born on the moon of Neirport VII.. His mother worked at a refuling station,well at least it was a step up from a paid call girl house...He left Nierport VII whenever he was about 15 to attend the All Sciences Research Academy on Yerphonia sponsered by senator Sano Saruo.. My skin was crawling at the mere mention of the Senator.. A number of times I had been present during diplomatic meetings and I noticed the senator watching me a tad closer than I would have liked . Thank the force Anakin had been quick to put a stop to his unwaranted advances.. I made sure to treat Anakin to an an you can eat dinner at Dex's just for that I was so grateful.


I was no ways near looking forward to having to even possibly deal with him.. he reminded me a lot of Darth Sidious.. Creepy? Yes.Ragoon VI was another time I remembered hearing of him.. He had tried to use bounty hunters to capture Obi Wan and Anakin, but they had escaped from his grasp.. Dear brother also had a knack for collecting Sith artifacts.. So one way or another he would come after me, because he would come after the artifacts and the trunk. if he figured out how to work the portal, we were in for trouble.

I remembered seeing a padawan early that morning before I had to leave for breakfast. There was an intresting light surrounding her, but she seemed sad over something. I didn't have the chance to ask her what though because after breakfast my com beeped and I was called to the council room . When I knocked I was given permission to enter and I waited for someone to speak. It is not good ettiquite to speak in the council room when the masters are assembled before being spoken to. It was Master Windu who spoke

" Knight Deimos, we have a situation, it involves your half brother, Granta Omega"

My stomach plumetted as Mace gestured to the lifesize holo standing in the middle of the room.

His eyes opened and he smiled.

" Hello sister"

TBC
Phobia

Confusion, Mishaps, and the call of the Siren

For three days now I have done nothing but run tothe fresher and sleep.. My stomach cannot hold anything down, and I am weak enough to the point I can't even hold up my saber in both hands.. It feels like a lead brick. But if there is one good thing about being sick, it gives one time to think.


Early this afternoon I had a lit candle sitting by the Grimorie, and the window was open. A very stupid mistake on my part, but the Grimorie caught fire. Now you might be saying it's just a book right? No it's not just a book as I found out. When it caught alight, I .. I began to fade..

My spirit was leaving my body and my force signature was fading quickly. I thought I wwas going to ie, for real this tiem. But it seems fate had other plans in store for me because before too muchdamage was done, the wind from the open window snuffed out the fire.

Also.. I have tried to deny the call I feel tried oh so very hard.. But It becomes stronger with each passing day, more diffucut to resist. A part of me wishes I would have never went through the portal.


But yet another part of me wonders if I should go and never return. A taste of happiness, no matter how small can be a powerful thing. as more time passes a deeper feeling of dread fills me. I am comming to realize that i might have to do the one thing I would never have dreamed in a million years I would have to do.Force forgive me he is my brother and my freind and I fear that no matter how much love and freindship we offer him, it won't be enough.

I have never backed down from a battle. Not once in my life. Though I know and realize if I must become a reaper, I will not survive it.But if I die I die with honor, knowing that maybe with my death will save some lives.. Even if I only save one, then I will not have died in vain.I will leave the datapad out on the ledge of my room for him. I know the truth though I would give anything for it not to be so.

Not only have I been given a chance to think on those matters, but something a bit more pressing than Lord Vader. I know someone drugged my drink. And it was a powerful drug at that.


Only someone either brave, foolish, or desprete would dare try that with a Jedi. I ran through a list of possibilities.. Anakin knew better, besides.. He would know he would be raked over the coals by Master Kenobi if he dared.

I managed to do a bit of background searching before I became ill. I found out I have a half brother Omega... He is not force sensative.. It seems I inheraited that, but he can call up ghosts.


That does prove intresting since that would explain why I didn't feel any force signature at the cantina. He is a sith, and not like Catia. Evil through and through. He had attacked the temple once before when I was out on a mission. He had rigged a bomb somewhere inside to go off. But he forgot to think ahead. Master Yoda used the force to crush the bomb and Omega was taken into custody.

It suddenly rang clear as crystal. It had to have been. It was Omega who drugged my drink, but the question was why?A million reasons ran through my head each unlikely as the next. To be honest I wished Anakin was back..He was one of the few people who would sit and listen.. and maybe even believe..


I didn't want the past dragging me back into it's grip.. I wanted the chance to be free and move forward. I never looked for trouble, trouble always found me.. Can I help it if I have the uncanny ability to piece things together?

Kriss was missing, and there was no point in trying to talk to Obi Wan, he would just tear down my argument with logic.. i was backed into a corner with pratically no way out. that was the funny thing..


When I was in the future.. I felt Kriss.. It was an echo but it was there. It never occured to me until the other night. Force I am as confused as connfused can get. Two paths are open to me, only one is the right one. And yes .. the thought occured to me to burn the grimorie and take both of us with it..


That is still a possibility, but only as a last choice. If it comes down to either killing him, or burn the grimorie.. I will burn the book. i do not think it is in me to kill the one man who has become like a brother to me.. That may seem selfish, but I cannot do it.

If this is weakness, then I am weak. But if given the chance.. I have 3 words to say to Vader.. " I forgive you"

Chow for the moment
Phobia

The dress...(Catia's POV)

Okay yeah, Pho was sicker than a bantha to be honest. I found out after a little investagation that at the cantina someone had drugged her drink. Her body was fighting it voraciously as was I.

What disturbs me is who would be either bold or foolish enough to attempt such a thing. I had my suspicions as to whom it was, but something lurked in the back of my mind.. Anyhow that wasn't important.

I had given Phobia the opprtunity to rest whenever a knock sounded at the door. When I opened it I have to admit I was rather suprised to see Erifia standing there. She was wearing what I had to admit was a dazzling dress .

" Something wrong Erifia? " I asked in about as much as a smooth even tone I could. Phobia was not doing any better and soon I feared I would have to go to the healer's . She looked me up and down once , bathrobe on me and all.. " Well I guess you can tell me"

" What are you talking about?"

" The dress. I know you had to have sent it"

What in all korkiba was she talking about? A wave of dizzyness hit me like a tidal wave and I had to hold onto the door frame for support.

" Look Erifia I have no clue what you are talking about but I did not send you that dress! " I was getting really irratated really fast. Add to that my stomach was about to decide it didn't like me again.

" Oh really? It seems like something you would pick out.. But I have to ask, how did you know my dress size?"


I'm pretty sure I was shooting lightning right then.


" Look believe whatever you want, I didn't send you that dress and I would really appreciate it if you'd go hunt elsewhere.. I would love to stand here and chat, but my stomach is about to come back up any second. "

At that moment it did.

I slammed the door in Erifia's face and ran for the fresher. I swear to god if I find out who drugged her drink I will kill them...

Til Later
Au Revoir
Catia Ravenstone

Number guess? 33.. how old I was when I died

Parties, drinks ,dancing and sickness at my 50th

So to celebrate my 50th I threw a party at Dex's.. Pretty much everyone was there, even Yusuke Kurama and Hiei showed up, which was an absoulete miracle . And for some strange reason Koenma came too, in his cute form for a change.. Reminds me of the time when I first noticed guys.. It was nothing like what happened to Anakin . Believe me, I heard about it from various sources..

But a party for me and where did I find myself? Sitting off in a booth with Lisette curled up in my lap like always... Dex just adores Lisette, she keeps the mice out of the kitchen and gets a salmon all for herself.. but I was pretty much sitting all by myself.. Why I didn't know.. That was til I got yanked over to the bar by Anakin. He passed me a drink" Here sis you look like you could use one" I took it and the contents ofthe glass was gone in about a second. As he signaled Dex for another he let hisvoice drop a bit so no one else but me heard him" Look, I trusted you when you had to do what you needed to, now all I ask is trust me k?"

I felt a familiar tingle creep up my spine.. I didn't know what it was but it was familiar.. I turned and I saw Obi Wan.. I didn't understand.. it was the same feeling I got whenever I was around Ivan.. Ivan! I suddenly remembered what he had told me to tell Obi Wan.. As he took a seat next to the two of us I looked over my shoulder and said " A message from a freind, in the matter of DJK look to a gypsy.. "

I shrugged at his confused expression. " I don't know what it means.. I was told by a freind to tell you that" I held up my hand to cut off any more questioning.. " No it's not a joke, and I know he can be trusted"

The riddle kept playing itself over and over in my mind.. Mynock and Kyrat dragon..form 3 and 5... I used form 3 so half the riddle was solved.. .. I only knew one form 5 user who had a blue blade .. I slowly turned to him.. no.. no it couldn't be.. but in the deepest recesses of my mind the voice whispered that this was indeed the truth. My heart seemed utterly frozen. Like it had been dipped in carbonite.. I had to know the utter truth. I could not swallow the idea that that monster was.. was..

More drinks, more dancing.. I think at one point during the evening I danced with Obi Wan, Anakin and Tak.. Needless to say I was wasted by the time I got back to the temple. I think Catia managed to get us back to my room . Every movement seemed to take an age and a day to complete and bythe time I finally dropped into bed I had to use the force to pull the covers up over me.



Nightmares ripped at my mind the whole night through. of my father, of the future that seemed to be just looming over the horizion to doom us all, and of my own mistakes. I got little to no sleep that night and was awakened bythe sound of a starfighter engine hoovering overhead. I ran , or more like stumbled to the window just in time to see a familiar streak of yellow zip out of the atmosphere. I recalled Anakin's words and bowed my head in resignation. I did trust him.. but I would pray for his safety.. I did not ask him where he was headed , I knew better. Didn't mean I could help but worry though.

I watched him til he dissapeared off the planet. " Be safe bro"I whispered. The sound seemed to catch up with me and I stumbled to the fresher as the drinks , and pretty much everything came back up.. I ended up having to crawl back to bed on my hands and knees like a dog. The room was spinning badly. Something was wrong with me.. I didn't know what it was. I only a drank a bit and it should not be bugging me like this. I caught a glimpse of myself in the miror. I looked like a ghost and my hair was hanging around my face which made me look all the more ghastly.

By mid afternoon I was convinced my stomach hated me . I knew I had a class to teach that afternoon for Master Cin. I reached for my com and left a message for Yoda.. and then realizied in my infinite stupidity he was off planet. I would've called Anakin, but he was gone . I hated to do this to him but I called Obi Wan , who I guessed was in a council meeting.. sith..

" Obi Wan I'm sorry I have to bug you like this, but I'm in no condition to teach Cin's class this afternoon. I'm lower than pudu.. "

At that lovely moment my stomach lurched and I dropped the com as I ran to the fresher again. A few minutes I was back and sprawled across the bed .. I highly doubted I could move again if I needed to for a while. " I'm functioning for now.. Just find a sub for Cin's class okay? Yeah.. door is unlocked.. allright..Thanks.. "

I clicked the com off and tossed it into the small heap of clothes in the basket as Lisette walked up me and decided I would make a good pillow. .. I shoved her off for the moment.. She was too heavy for me to handle and I needed the room to breathe. Finally sleep claimed me , and this time I could sleep with no dreams. force knows I needed it

Chow for the moment( if i live)
Pho

( Catia)* Topic* Whispers in the darkness

You're probably wondering why I have been silent for a while now, well let me explain.. You see even a Sith needs time to think. All of this has come on me so fast that believe it or not, has shocked me into silence. I don't really know if what I have seen will come to pass or not. To be frank, I was scared, and still am. I pretty much know I abondened Pho when she needed me the most. .. The whole Christmas party affair, that I had to admit, it was funny , but she needed the push in the right direction. She cares for him enough she will not risk way of life and reputation.

Not even to give him a clue..


By the way, you wonder why if you ever saw my pictures in the archives I always had cats by my side? Black cats? Smart creatures they are... let me tell you... I needed to stop off and find a good salmon shop and get Gar Gar a fresh Rylothian Salmon.. he earned it ... But it'd figure.. I have not one, but two lovestruck fools on my hands. I noticed this a few days prior. Lisette had a picture in her room and when I.. or should I say we went to look, it was all i could do not to bust out laughing.


In the little collar locket Pho had gotten for Lisette was a small picture of.. Lord Kittious, Dark Kitten of the Sith.. I heard rumors about this guy.. he was a lady killer to be sure. She was nervous.. When I asked she "said "she was thinking of calling him but was scared she'd stutter and make hersellf sound like an idiot. when I say said, I mean I looked into her head and read her thoughts.. Wait why I am even talking aobut reading a cat's thoughts? anyway.. . I shook my head and walked out of the room Force I could NOT believe this! was I the only sane one around here? I'm begining to think so.


Another call from the publisher's today. Pho was going to have to sneak out of the temple for a raido interview. She was bound to ge herself into trouble with these press junkets. Someone was going to find out.. I didn' think, I KNEW it was bound for disaster. I mean whenever Anakin of all people said he read her books.. She would've been tickled pink if not for her other problem..


The more people who read her stories.. the more famous she became.. And eventually her seceret would be out in the open and she would be devistated.

I admit I enjoy her books, force.. I get to meet some of her charcters in person.. let me say Stephen is one of the few men I can have an intelligent conversation with..


But anyway.. when recent events unfolded..I kind of went into a hibernation sleep. First of all.. I couldn't talk to Pho in the future.. you have no idea how much that unnerved me. and when she fought Vader.. I was scared for her like maybe a mother would be scared for her daughter. I couldn't get out of this cocoon cryscalis thing I was in.. It's hard to explain without seeing it first hand, so I am going to just quit confusing the rest of you.


As for the Sith lightning, that was me, and yet that wasn't me.


I didn't have the strength to tear free of my bonds alone and it takes a lot to hold me. But then there.. I saw him.. he and I shared power.. It was his last act before he moved on into the force at last.. Thanks Xanatos.. You have my respect.


Needless to say , these past few weeks have been an eye opener for not only her, but me as well. it has caused me to rethink a lot of things , and come to terms with what has happened and what might happen. I only pray that the force gives us the strength to see us through.


I saw her in the future you know.. She had aged beyond her years, poor woman.. Both physically and mentally. she had seen horrors no woman should have to face, made choices she should have never been forced to make.. and it's all my fault.. the only good thing about that whole bit is she finally found someone who loves her and she loves in return. I don't know the rhyme or reason of it, but he reminded me of someone.. Ivan.. i knew he did when I first saw that chip..


The only time I ever saw her smile was in his presence.. He lifts a great weight off of her shoulders and heart. She shines when he is with her. the rest of the time.. She is like a machiene.. dull ,lifeless, dead.. Void of all emotion and thought. Just gettingfrom day to day. Perhaps i should finish the job myself. I know the answer to the riddle.. I could finish off Lord Vader in this era easily.. But Phobia would not believe me.. I know she wouldn't. there is an old saying from my late master.. "There is danger for him who taketh the tiger cub,and danger for whoso snatches a delusion from a woman."


Oh my dear sister, daughter.. partner.. if you could only see.. He is not your brother.. He is your greatest enemy.. and I dare not breathe a word until it is too late.. Force forgive me and I pray when the time comes, we can make a quick end to him....
Til Later
Au Voir Catia Ravenstone

( P.S 50th post comming. .. If I get a little weepy.. sorry.. Party at Dex's, if you can make it, drop a comment on this post okie? thanks!)