Monday, February 26, 2007

A fairytale comming true..

I was paging through the grimorie looking for anything related to incubi and succubi whenever my com beeped. It was Bail Organa. I had called him earlier that day and told him about the puppies. He had agreed to come and see them at the temple later that afternoon, and he would bring Mon Mothma with him. His ship had just landed at the spaceport and he would arrive at the temple in 20 minutes. One look at my appreance, a tank top and a set of black silk boxers* coughs* don'task* I knew I needed a change and quickly.

As I was changing clothes to go meet Bail at the docks I realizied I hadn't seen Godfrey in about a week almost. Ever since he'd kissed me goodnight it was like he'd vanished like a dream.. HAD I been dreaming? The thought mulled over in my head as I yanked the black sweater over my head that read" Don't cross my path" put Odi's leash on her and led her down to the docks . The one thing I will say about the Viceroy is that he is one of the funniest men I have ever met, and also a very good listener.

When I made it to the docks he was dressed in the clothing of the royal house of Alderann and behind him stood Mon Mothma.. Smiling Bail knelt down and patted Odi's head and she promptly licked his hand panting up at him with big doe brown eyes. It made me laugh a bit, but
I felt a pang of regret in my heart. Sooner or later I would be alone again and it hurt a good deal. Mon Mothma saw the hurt in my eyes and she smiled gently and placed a hand on my shoulder.

" I see it in your eyes.. who's the lucky man?" she asked with a giggle as we walked back towards the temple, Odi pulling on the leash ,anxious to get back to her puppies.
I grinned , my heart dancing" This stays between us Mon Mothma?" she nodded and I continued" Somehow.. another Jedi.. his name is Godfrey Zebulon"

Mon Mothma's eyes went wide for a moment then she smiled knowingly then fell instep by Bail and whispered something in his ear and he chuckled as we turned the corner to the temple.. My arm was nearly yanked out of it's socket and we walked( or in Odi's case ran) into the temple .

She began whining and huffing trying to break free of me to get to her pups. When we got close to my room she broke loose and ran ahead,Belda following on her heels. I had to run after them, narrowly missing running headlong into a few others including Gar Gar who decided to get under my feet and almost tripped me. I was flying towards the floor whenever suddenly a familiar force presence flared to life next to me and I was narrowly saved from busting my nose on the floor. Whenever he pulled me back to my feet my forehead barely graced his nose.

" You allright?" he asked me, breath ghosting across my bangs making them flutter. My ears were turning pink because I knew Bail and Mon Mothma were watching this whole display.. " Yeah.. um I think so I.. " I tried to take a step and I crashed into Godfrey and we both went tumbling onto the floor, me landing on top of him and Mon Mothma burst out laughing closely followed by Bail.

I scrambled to my feet like I had touched a hot pan blushing badly.. Why did it feel so good to be lying like that? why did I want him to kiss me? Boy was I confused..
Finally thank the force we got to my room and Odi ran to her pups whining and yipping. Bail and Mon Mothma were utterly enchanted with the little ones They both agreed to take one puppy each and would also speak to some of their freinds in the Senate to see about adopting the others.

It was then that Godfrey had suggested taking Odi for a walk in the park.. Before we left he told me to change into cilvillan clothes and asked if Bail and Mon Mothma would like to come with us.. Offering a knowing smile Bail declined saying he needed to get back to his senatoral quaters and go out to purchase some things for the little boy, whom he decided to name.. of all things.. Onyx..

Once I had gotten changed we decided to leave the pups there for the present, come back and take them later once Odi was tired out.. it was a race to see who could get to the big tree under the park bench first.. He beat me by a half inch to be honest.. But.. oh force.. he kissed me.. for real.. gentle.. caring.. I could feel his emotions through the force and it was nothing but pure love.. I wanted to be close to him.. so it didnt matter where ended and I began.. Then he pulled back for a moment to look at me, his eyes were swirling with love.. oh.. I'm getting all mushy just writing about this.. But anyway, he slipped a claudaugh ring on my wedding finger and asked me if I would be his, forever and always.. if I would be his wife

What suprised me is how fast I said yes.

He was so happy! He pulled me up from the bench and kissed me, stealing any of my breath from my lungs. I don't know how I managed, but a whimper escaped my throat and I clutched his shoulders , my knees were wobbling like sticks in a storm. The park had built in sound system.. A guitar melody struck up, and he started singing.. since my brain turned to mush.. here's the lyrics.

Earth angel,Earth angel
Will you be mine
My darling dear
Love you all the time
Im just a fool,
A fool in love, with you
Earth angel Earth angelThe one I adore

Love you forever
And ever more
Im just a fool,
A fool in-love with you
I fell for you
And I knew
The vision of your lovliness
I hope and I pray,
That someday,
Ill be the vision of yourHappiness
Earth angel,
Earth angel
Please you be mine
My darling dearLove you all the time
Im just a fool,A fool in love, with you
I fell for you And I knewThe vision of your lovliness
I hope and I pray,That someday,Ill be the vision of yourHappiness
Earth angel,
Earth angel
Please you be mine
My darling dearLove you all the time
Im just a fool,A fool in love, with you

He treats me so well, I can't fathom how lucky I am to have him.. I don't care about tomorrow, I don't care about yesterday.. all I care about is the time I have with him.. He's asked me to come visit his home planet of Corellia and I gladly accepted .We're leaving next week on the pretesne of a diplomatic mission . I want to tell someone this wonderful news.. but who? My mind instantly set on Anakin.. I knew he could keep my secret.. and he would understand too .it would be risky because if the council tried to get ahold of him for a mission and all.. But I knew we could pull it off...

We're going shopping tomorrow for some new civillian clothes and I am pikcing up a copy of Reclamation and Cycle of time for Godfrey.. He still doesn't know who the author is.. and I'll tell him, but in my way.

I'll have Cin keep Odi and the pups while I'm gone. The fighter is small and it only fits us and Lisette. The 2 for Mon Mothma and Bail would go to them later this week . .. Nothing worries me right now, and that's unusal.. espically for me.
Til Later* giggles*

Friday, February 23, 2007

Helping and Healing

I haven't been the same for weeks now.. I am always looking over my shoulder, not knowing weather I will be attacked whenever I turn a corner or walk through a doorway. My nerves were a mess. I even jumped half a mile whenever Obi Wan came to check on me. I rursted no one, not even really Belda I am deeply ashamed to say. The only ones I trusted were Odi and Lisette.

I could feel Belda's worry and confusion that she did not understand why I was frightened. The information Jocasta gave me was most helpful and later that evening I consulted the grimorie for more information on how to excorsise crossbreed demons.

Catia was guiding me step by step as I reformed my lightsaber for just such a special puprose. The gateway ws only partway constructed in the archives , but the synth crystal I had found in Bane's hoocron was a force send. It is a special crystal that not only can cut through mortal foes but also those of the spiritual nature. I stuided religiously for another week it seemed though I knew it was only a few days before I sent the message to Mace.. That we needed to talk.. to meet me in the training room..

The air was like ice around me the moment I stepped through those doors. The room was dark, illiminated by the eerie glow of Mace's saber , which cast shadows off the walls of the room. his voice.. it was not his own as he spoke to me..
" Lovely.. your swordmaster will not save you this time.. you'll be mine my dear.. "

I said nothing but activated my black blade which caused him to take a step back. " How.. that is the synth crystal of Anubis!"

I gave him no leway but attacked head on, taking him down to the floor . He grinned then flipped me over , this time I was ready and kicked out with my feet sending him flying back into the wall. I was so focused on the battle before me I did not hear the door open. My saber was raised for the killing strike and I was bringing it down on his arm when a strong hand closed over my upper arm and dragged me back away from him as I was about to do something I knew I would regret..

"He's no threat now! stop!"

I turned about ready to kill whoever had stopped me then.. my heart nearly stopped..
I was looking into the eyes of someone very familiar.. but foregin at the same time.. " Ivan?"
He smiled gently " not anymore.. My name is Godfrey.. Godfrey Zebulon .. Through the nightmare you have survived you changed it all.. for the better or worse I don't know.. but what matters is now I'm here and I can help you through this.. You know.. I can help you.. let me protect you .. Let me help you heal.. "

Our eyes met for an instant and I knew.. it was like all of those years I had spent for pining over someone I could not have.. they all went up in flames.. I saw my destiny sitting in front of my eyes before me.. It was then I noticed the saber at his hip. He was not dressed in tunics and robes.. Instewad he was dressed in a simple civillan outfit of a red sweater, black jeans which clung VERY nicely may I add and black shoes.

" You're a Jedi?"

He chuckled and I could've melted right then and there.. " Just recently.. time space stuff.. I don't want to give you a headache"

Mace was rising from where I had knocked him out. I could feel and see it.. The energy of the incubi and succubi crossbreed was gone.. he was himself again.

Godfrey helped me to my feet and Mace was just about to come over whenever an image of what happened at the vaults flashed before my eyes.. " no! Mace.. stay away from me!" I backed up until I was back to chest with Godfrey who wrapped an arm around me protectively. Mace looked at me wide eyed and then he bakceed away slowly.. " Phobia.. I'm so sorry.. Oh force.. how blind have I been? Can you ever forgive me?"

I nodded " I can forgive you, but I don't know if I can trust you again"

He nodded briefly and left us in peace.. I turned to Godfrey,who gazed at me from behind a pair of geek glasses which I found utterly adorable. I felt safe, protected.. I collapsed in his arms and he picked me up off the mats and carried me clear back to my rooms. I drifted in and out for a time..

When I woke I was tucked into my bed in my room and Godfrey sat by my bedside stroking my forehead . I felt sort of like I had fever but it felt good. I wanted him next to me.. I wanted him to hold me but I was afraid to ask.. afraid where it might lead.. could I handle something like this so soon?

In response to my unspoken question he stood, kissed my forehead, my nose and briefly.. just ever so briefly my lips before using the force sleep suggestion on me and I fell into a dream like abyss.When I woke and he wasn't there I cried despretly like my heart had been broken but I saw the rose on my bedside table and the note

Meet you at breakfast.. then walk with me in the gardens?

I dressed in a whirlwind and pratically ran up the stairs to the cafeteria . There he sat waiting for me at my favroite table by the window the biggest smile on his face. I swear I was walking on air the whole morning..

We walked in the gardens after breakfast before I had to teach classes and he even danced with me.. Force he has the voice of an angel.. 9 am came too soon and I had to go teach the morning saber class since Cin was under the weather with a cold.

He was teaching the morning hand to hand combat class 1 floor down from me. My senses hummed and most of the knights noticed the change in me.. at one point one of them puleld me aside and warned me I was a little too excited and needed to calm down.Ii tried force I tried.. but I was so happy.. I wanted to float on a clooud.. I was in love.. despretly.. truly.. and completly in love
Til later

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

A chill to freeze my blood

I had to teach a few classes that afternoon so it was about somewhere after 6th chime before I was free. Belda was spending the evening with some of her freinds so for once in a while I was free. It was a relief actually . I had been juggling so many things I just needed to sit down and take stock of what had happened. In a matter of a few short days I had went from anomyus knight to keeper of one of the most sweetest, and sometimes puzzling padawans around. Not to mention there was the matter of the puppies who were currently sleeping.

I scratched Lisette's head and she purred" Remember when it was just us girl ? I know it seems a lot, but bear with me.. Soon it'll just be you me,Belda and Odi.." She curled herself into a ball and went to sleep. just then a message scrolled acorss my datapad. My heart jumped in my chest when I saw who it was from. Warning bells went off in my head. Mace wanted to meet me by the vaults downstairs to talk. He said he wanted to apologize for all he had done, that he'd come to his senses..

I grabbed my robe and headed downstairs, locking up after me. I knew it was vital I not be seen otherwise I could land us in a lot of trouble. After he had risked everything to bring the holocrons to me, I figured I could at least hear him out.
Arriving downstiars I saw the vault door standing open and swallowing slightly I walked inside.

All of a sudden I couldn't hear Catia, and I couldn't feel the force either. It was then I remembered that this vault was sealed off to keep the darkside aura away from the rest of the temple. I was turned towards the door and was about to run whenever I felt a hand close over my wrist. I turned and saw it was Mace" Your not going anywhere Phobia" he hissed pulling me to him. I tried kicking him but his grip tightened to the point I knew I would have brusies. He kissed me harshly and as I heard the sound of tearing fabric of my outer tunics a chill of fear raced through my veins.

" Mace please! NO! Don't do this! let me go!"I struggled to free myself from his ironlike grip. I knew if this continued.. I didn't want to think about it.. In desperation I fumbled for something I could hit him with to get away.. My hands fell on a miror and I shined it in his face. For a moment I saw what was truly the matter. He was under a curse.. His eyes in the miror were sith evil. He tossed it away before I could say a word. I was just about to give myself up for lost the panic growing inside of me my waves a moment.. The chill of the air hit my now nearly bare skin at the same instant as I heard footsteps down the corridor. .

I was crying and I didn't know what else to do.. I screamed aloud for someone.. anyone to help me.. I heard the hum of a lightsaber and I turned to see that my savior was the temple swordmaster Cin Draling. His face was the last thing I saw before I passed out

When I woke I was in the healer's ward. Cin was standing on one side of me watching over me worriedly. I tired to sit up but he gestured for me to lie still . I was still shaking when the healer came in to give the report. Master Draling had got there in time before anything had happened.

I was bruised all over and I felt sore all over The healer told me I could leave tonight if I wished but I was expected to go before the council in the morning to give my account of the event.She squeezed my hand gently" Phobia.. who.. who did this to you?"

Looking to make sure Cin was not within sight, I whispered" Tell no one of this but it was Mace.. he's .. not himself.. I can't explain it.. but he's being controlled. I need to find out who and what . I beg you keep this secret. I can't face the council. Not now.. not yet. Mace would never do this as his normal self.. please"
She nodded" Of course,anything you ask.. "

I felt the brief tap of Cin's hand on my shoulder letting me know he had returned" you going to be okay?" he asked" If you want to talk I'm here" .. I nodded" I'll be fine.. I'm sure Belda is wondering what's happened to me."

I rose sitffly from the bed and Cin handed me my boots. " In fact".. he never got to finish his sentance for right then Belda ran right in and hugged my knees, crying her little eyes out. " I heard what they said! Master! Please be okay!" I dropped to my knees and hugged her tight" I'll be okay Belda, I promise.. But remember one thing.. I always care for you.. no matter what. .You gave me a reason to fight, a reason to keep going.. Thank you Belda"

I picked her up and carried her back to our quaters. Tomorrow well tomorrow I didn't know what would happen. but I prepared myself for the absoulete worst. But I knew I would face it the best I knew how. I was hurt.. and scared. Dollie had scheduled me with the mind healer for the next month to try and help me get over this.

There was only one way for me to forget.. and that was to throw myself into my work.. Once I had put Belda to bedand after assuring her everything would be okay, I left the door open and went into the living room and poured out the sack onto the living room rug. Lisette tiptoed up to me and when she snifed my robes she arched her back and hissed. The intellegence of cats never ceased to amaze me. She knew.. and knew that I was hurt. She's very mellow but I get hurt and she will become your worst nightmare.

I made a mental note to keep her locked in my room for a while

One of the pups jumped onto my shoulder and started washing my face. I started to giggle a bit, then my giggles disolved into tears as I held the puppy close. My fingers traced the runes and one of the holocrons, Bane's actually sprang out of it. Out of it fell a synth crystal, black with silver veins. It was then I saw.. the begining of the gate...
Til Later

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Shadows and Vapors, all the same

Late, very late that same evening I headed back to our rooms. Belda was dillegently working on her homework, which I have to say I was suprised she did so without a fuss. But then again, I saw the split eared grin on her face earlier that afternoon whenever the backs of my ears had decided to turn a very dark shade of pink whenever I missed a step in the current set I was working on and Obi Wan had to correct me.. Sometimes I am begining to wonder if Belda is too smart for her own good..

"She is.. now about our other problem..."

I wanted to scream and split my head in 2! " your not helping right now Catia and it's not OUR problem, it's MY problem. I will deal with this. I don't need your help.!" I was snappish, hungry and exhausted.

Belda looked up from her work, thinking I might be angry at her and a few well placed words had her set back on her work as I headed to the cooking area to make a light dinner for us.

" Look, Catia I'm sorry as much as I do appreciate the help, I want to be able to be able to stand on my own without help from you. There might come a time when you are no longer around and then what would I do huh? Sit and cry like a baby?"

" I'm sorry , your right. it's just I don't want to see what we have crash through the floor like a glass bowl."

I nodded mentally and while I was cooking dinner Belda kept casting glances over in my direction, probably wondering if all the stress had finally made me go off my rocker or if she had done something wrong.

Once dinner was finished, I brought a plate over to Belda and she looked up at me curiously.. " Master Deimos, who was that you were talking to ? "
She caught me by suprise, a good bit.. The only other person who had bee nable to see Catia was..

" I heard another lady's voice in the kitchen with you.. is she a freind of yours?"

I explained who Catia was over dinner. The expression on poor Belda's face was more so wide eyed shock than anything else. Then the topic turned to something even more intresting.. cake..
It seems that Belda's last class right before lunch was halfway across the temple And by the time she could get there, with all the no running rules and all there was hardly any desert left for her!.. Well this simply would not do..

I remembered very distinctly whenever I was younger I would have kp duty once a month.. and somehow Anakin always managed to get into trouble with Obi Wan that day.. of course me being my sympathetic self.. he helps me with dishes, I saved him a good centerpiece of the cake that yes.. I cooked. In my teens I became famous for my triple decker chocolate cake with fudge filling. I would make about 10 of those a month for the temple, and let me tell you one is a lot of work as it was..

So we pretty much came to a soulition. I would make 2 cakes a month for just us to share.. ( and of course if we had company and they were hungry, namely Anakin) so she wouldn't have to worry about it.. And from what I heard from Cin, they were skimping on the filling anyway.
I was just setting the dishes in the rack whenever I heard the doorchime. I went to answer it and I found no one standing there, but there was a sack on the mat. When I looked inside I paled and took into the apartment quickly, stashing it under my bed.

It wasn't until later I was able to see what it was in earnest. Someone had left me all of the holocrons in the vaults, save the Great Holocron which resided in the archives, which was where I would begin my work on the gate. I knew who had done this.. it was as plain as the note inside.. Mace.. in a pathetic attempt to win me over.. Well it wasn't going to work because I wouldn't let him be fooled by his own dilusions. When I reached for the nearest one an image of a crossbreed flashed across my mind.. Something was off..

I called Ms .Nu on my com and asked her to pull up whatever reasearch she could find on succubi and incubi and that I would come see her in the morning.Whenever she asked why I told her straight forward" I believe there may be a danger loose in the temple ..That the council knows and I'm only trying to help.." Satisfied she left and I climbed into bed with a weary mind. But not before locking the holocrons in the chest for safekeeping. I didn't need Belda getting her hands on one of those..

Still my dreams were tormented by nightmares... I find I am getting very little sleep these days and it's showing . But a little makeup never killed anyone, which I'd put some on to cover the dark circles under my eyes.. last thing I need is for someone to give me flack about sleeping enough.. I am doing all I can though I feel like I am being stretched like a ballon . Both mind and body. I really don't feel like I have recovered from that bout of sickness just yet.. Even his grave my brother still makes my life horrid.. huttslime..
Til Later

Thursday, February 15, 2007

A wolf in sheep's clothing or is it?

It's late evening, 3 days after I got back from Korriban. The momma dog who I have named" Odyssia" or Odi for short is resting comfortably in her next with her pups. They are all allright and Belda is asleep quietly in the other room . For some reason I cannot sleep. A restless has taken hold of my mind and I cannot even meditate it is so bad. I pace from one end of the sitting area to the other, my hands behind my back trying to calm my racing nerves. I look at the crono on the wall. 3 AM.. why can't I seem to sleep?

All of a sudden there is a soft knock at my door.

Puzzled I throw on a fluffy robe over my cream silk nightgown before I answer the door. There stands Mace Windu and he seems rather.. nervous.. " Master Windu, what's the matter? it's past 3!" He's sweating slightly as he replies" It's a matter of utmost importance.. May I come in?" I invite him inside and gesture for him to take a seat, a finger pressed to my lips to indicate we should be quiet because of the little ones.

He took a seat on the couch and I headed over barefoot to thechair across from him. " I know it would be important for you to come.. what's wrong? you can tell me .. " He looks up at me , a fixed stare, a bold one. I can hear Catia angrily trying to break free. She does not trust him, never has. " Phobia.. I .. " his voice breaks.. " I care for you , more than I should.. In fact.. I love you.. I always have."

I stared open mouthed at him. what was he saying? The wind seemed to whistle through my ears and my heart pounding drowned out all conversation. Gasps left my mouth and my throat tightened. Mace love me? NO! the man was incapable of love, he never let anyone close to him ever! I saw him kneeling before me, taking my hands in his. I at last found my voice" Love me? you lie!"

He let me go and fell back apparently hurt. " I am a Jedi , I do not lie"

My eyes hardened and I rose from my chair" You DO lie I see it in your eyes. You only think you are in love with me. you are in love with a dead woman.. You love Depa! You only think to use me as a replacement! I know you never got over loosing her Mace, but this is not the way."
His voice was hard as steel" you sound EXCACTLY like him.. you know that?"
Heart was kicking madly in my chest. I did not want to betray any emotion for fear he would run to the council and it would be over right then, so I played dumb" Why whoever do you mean Mace?"

A stormy look crossed his features" Obi Wan.. I see the looks Phobia, don't play coy.. I know you love him.."

I could feel lightning gathering around my right hand, Mace was about to be a dead Jedi if he did not stop this.

He continued" Kenobi is a fool! He would have to be blind not to see how lucky he is! You are a beautiful woman, intellegent, loving, kind and loyal. Why he cannot see that is beyond me, but please give me a chance?"

I shook my head" If you were truthful I would, but you have lied to me thus far. you love a woman who is in another words dead. I will not play a replacement. "

" Replacement? I love you damnit! why can't you see? I always have!. Ever since you came here!"

Vocies were rising, but I was so angry I did not care " where were you whenever I needed someone to turn to? Someone who knew the darkness and could have helped me? Sitting on your damn council chair that's where! You didn't give a hutt underbelly what happened to me you nerf herder! you have no right to come in here and lay sweet lies at my feet whenever I have sturggled and scraped for every piece, every honor, everything I have made."

My heart was pounding so loud it was like a drum. Tears blinded my eyes but I would not give him the plesure of seeing them. I blinked them away I caught my reflection in the window. My eyes were no longer the soft brown they usually were. They were red.. sith red. All of my rage gathered into a spearhead and before I could stop myself I found my voice rising to a scream loud enough to wake the dead.

" Don't you DARE come here and try and tell me you speak the truth. You are a liar and the lowest piece of filth Mace Windu. Go back to where you were. I will bow to no one. I know why the council will not make a master! It is because I am too powerful! you fear me! Well you espically have damn good reason to fear me. I warn you now, cross my path again and it will NOT be pretty now GET OUT!"

Lightning was gathering until things started gathering around me. Mace's eyes grew wide and he stumbled backwards fumbling for the door.I was hurt, damn hurt. I knew all it would take is for Mace to say one word to Yoda and I would be out of the order. but I would not live in fear of him or anyone. I had fought too long , too hard to let someone trample on me now. Mace turned and ran out the door, scared. I could feel he was scared.. and I didn't care in fact I enjoyed it.. every last second of it.

The moment the door slammed Belda came out of her room in her pj's with her blanket . She was crying bitterly. I immeditly regretted raising my voice to Mace. I should have known better. I knelt down and ruffled her hair slightly. " I'm sorry about all of the noise Belda.. the ah.. " Force how was I going to explain screaming at a council member?

I just hugged her tightly, trying to hold back a tornado of tears and broken sobs that threatened to escape me. She wouldn't understand what was going on, nor did I expect her to. I wondered briefly if anyone else had heard the argument.. I doubted it considering the VERY obscure location of my room .I reached for a hankcherief and wiped away her tears. " shh It's okay.. " I whispered pulling her close as i got to my feet and took a seat where Mace had bee not five minutes beofre

" Master? are you okay? what happened? I heard shouting.. ". I barely noticed my eyes were back to normal, but I didn't feel like they were. I couldn't let her get involved in this . I shook my head" it's okay, let's go check on the pups and the mother, then you need to get back to bed "

Nodding, we checked on the pups, they were all okay.

It took me nearly an hour and a half to get her back to sleep. I told her at least three stories , and by the third she had dropped off to sleep , her small hand in mine. Every time I tried to get up, she refused to let me go. Finally about 430 or 5 in the morning she let my hand go and rolled over in her sleep. I gestured for Lisette to keep a watch on her. Leaving the door open I padded to the sitting area, the emotional damn I had constructd about to burst

I went over to the cushioned window ledge. I shrugged the robe off my shoulders and force help me I broke into a million tiny pieces. I cried until tears wouldn't come anymore. My red puffy eyes met the crono.. It was now almost 6.. I had to be up at 7.. Sighing I tucked my knees under me, pulled my robe up for a blanket and went to sleep.. for a little while, maybe sleep could ease the new troubles on my mind.. Though I did feel like I was being watched..
Til later

Monday, February 12, 2007

The Curse of my Family part 6( Escape from Korriban and a new discovery)

As the morning sunlight first woke me, I could feel the force humming around me like a bee's nest.I had finally been healed. So before Belda awoke I headed back to the canyon cave where my brother's fighter was stored. With some good fortune he had steel trunks with locks in the back, all the keys present. So my first order of buisness was to start loading the bigger artifacts into the cases and moving them over by the far wall.

Swords, statues, you name it it was there. I could feel Catia astral projecting herself to work side by side with me. It was like a sort of rubbery shield around my psyche and my body to protect me from the darkness of the artifacts. One by one the trunks were sealed and placed into the far corner where I woud place them in the cargo hold of my fighter later on.

I did find some intresting things though.. A staff . It was polished ivory and was coated in ancient runes. Images flashed before my eyes of great wars in years past. I was so startled I almost dropped the staff . I must have hit a sort of secret compartment because a piece of parchment.. yes you heard me right.. parchment tumbled out from the hiding place. I unfolded it carefully not wanting to rip it.

Across the top was scrawled in hasty writing" The nexus gate" . As I kept reading my hands began to shake. It seemed too good to be true.. This could solve all of the problems of what was going to happen.. No one's life would have to be sacrificed for peace to be brought to the galaxy.. all it took was a simple matter of gathering the holocrons..

I was near to tears in my joy as I kept loading things into the chests.. 7 chests worth of artifacts already.. sheesh.. I pocketed the holocrons in a sperate bag.. as well as the star map.. and the sword I wrapped in my outer robe. I could not let the council have these.. not now.. not yet. Not when a soulition was soo close. I highly considered speaking with Kurama but decided against it. He would be as bad as Obi Wan .. I had to smile at that.. Those two were so much alike, I don't think they even realizied it.Same thing with Yusuke and Anakin.

I shook my head clearing it of fond memories for the present.. too many distractions and I could get myself killed. Yama wouldn't be happy with me. . I packed up what was left and moved the trunks to my fighter. I was actually wondering where Anakin was.. if he got back yet and if I could smack his sorry head in when I got back for causing me this much mess.. But then again, it was benifical.. so I could let him off .. maybe.

Once everything was ready I wen back to find Belda. She was packing everything up whenever I heard a low whining from somewhere nearby. I whispered for her to be silent and I went along the cave wall , listening intently. I found a small pit, about as big as Belda was and in it.. you won't believe this.. was a dog.. poor gal was scared to death and to make matters even more complicated, she was a mother.. the whining I had heard was comming from a litter of puppies.. a big litter too at that.. I counted at least 9 if not more. They were cold.. the mom was hungry and we neded to get back to Coruscant so I could get them all to the veternary clinic. I would not leave them here to fend for themselves and die.

" Belda come over here and help me !" I called to her. She was standing on the outside of the pit peering in curiously. Hopping in next to me she brought down the spare blankets and other materials we'd need. The mother watched as I gently wrapped her babies up in a big blue fuzzy blanket before lifting her herself out and getting them situated in the back of the fighter.. at this rate it'd be a mriacle if Belda and I would fit.

Somehow we managed to and we took off for home at last.. On the way there Belda asked me" What do you think the council is going to say to you bringing a litter of pups home with seven trunkfuls of sith artifacts? "

I blinked.. " truthfully I 've got no clue. but I won't let them turn thse pups up to an animal shelter.. not yet.. I know I can find them good homes.. in fact.. I think I know of a few senators who have been speaking of wanting a dog.. " I remembered Senator Organa and Senator Mon Mothma were two of them.. I know they would treat these darlings well. until then they'll stay with me.

". Belda I warn you.. it might seem a tad crowded in my rooms for a bit til we get these little guys homes, but it's quite comfortable there.. if a little hard to remember. First thing we need to do once we land is get these artifacts inside to the council at once.. they are too dangerous to be kept out in the open. then as soon as everything is over .. We need to get these little ones to the clinic. They need to be checked over and so does the mother.. "
Belda nodded smiling" They are adorable aren't they? why would someone leave them out in the cold like that Master Phobia?:

I swallowed.. For the first time.. I saw red.. not just ticked off red.. but sith red. and it was all me, not Catia.. I could feel her suprise and I answered thinly" People are cruel Belda.. they give no thought for life, human or animal.. It's sick and disgusting that they throw away a perfectly loving animal just because she was going to have puppies. They should have taken the precautions, not abondened her for something she did not cause!" My fist hit the control panel and sparks flew but we remained aloft.

I couldn't believe I had just done that.. didn't want to see the dent I had made in the nearly unbendable durasteel. Belda scooted a little closer to where I was sitting. Her voice was low and quiet, but thoughtful" you feel very strongly about this don't you Master Phobia?"
I nodded" Yes Belda I do.. It's not right tp punish someone, be it human or animal for a crime they did not commit. The real crimnal here is ignorance and stupidity. " I shook my head. We were comming in on Coruscant. I radioed down to get the landing clearences and once we were all clear I steered my fighter for the temple.

It felt ood to be home.. no matter the unrest I could feel growing, even in the place I called home.As soon as we were back I told Belda to stay with the puppies and I went to find Master Yoda. I would need him to open the doors to the vault where the artifacts were kept, since he was the only one who I could trust to do this without questions, at least for the present.
His suprise was imense whenever I found him heading down to the cafeteria.

Whenever I explained that I had brought back things that needed to be locked away in the vault below the 2 basement level he agreed and followed me back to the fighter. Belda had hopped down to bring the momma and her babies a little closer so she could make sure all of them were okay.. What followed next has to be one of the reasons why I adore Yoda.

He saw the momma and her pups and he hobbled over , grimer stick and all . he reaches out to the mother, such a warm smile on his face and pats her head, then smiles down at the pups.. They didn't know it , their eyes were still closed. " A good thing you have done Phobia.. hope and light you have brought to the temple.. "

I explained to him that I was thinking of seeing if any of the senators would like to have a dog, that I knew at least Mon Mothma and Bail were speaking of it at one point and he nodded his head smiling, eyes closed. " Best plan this is.. when they mature, they will go to their famlies. For now the temple shall be their home. Maybe adopt one of them I will."

With a wave of his hand all seven trunks flew to him and he nodded, which I meant I knew I had been dismissed for now. I got back in my fighter and asked Belda if she wanted to come along. She was more than happy to. After I had changed into civillian clothes from my room and picked up some credits to pay the veternarian, who I had run into a few weeks prior( which was how I knew where the clinic was) we were off. Little did I know what I was getting myself in for...

Til Later

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The curse of my family pt 5 ( words of wisdom,confusion of the mind)

" More news we have for you concerning your brother.. "

I sat indian style by firelight and nodded" Yes Master? The battle came out as expected.. I buried him under the cliffs. Though he caused us trouble.. He's still my brother. It's the one kindness I could do for him"

Yoda nodded" A kind heart you have. Much to learn from you a padawan would"
My eyes got big as saucers. A padawan? He was joking right? I had of course considered it but it really hadn't come up..

" Joking I am not.. Did you know about the dissapearance of Belda's Master CeCe Denowai ?"
I nodded " Yes Belda had told me of what she knew .. She is very upset by her disaperance. Master Yoda.. I know I should not pry.. but do you know where she is? I would like to be able to give Belda something of a straight answer"

Yoda chuckled and his grimer stick tapped on the floor" You see? a kind loving heart you have. Wanting to help Belda yes?"

I nodded ,a wry smile crossing my face. After all these years, Yoda could read me like a book. Well most of the time..

" Then I have a suggestion for you.. Belda is in need of a Master, at least temporarily until CeCe Denowai is found.. Would you like to become her master? "

I had to say, I was speechless. " Master Yoda, I do not know what to say.. Might I have some time to think on this? "

He nodded" The council will expect an answer upon your return then." The holo clicked out.
You're probably wondering ho this could happen since I have not been elavated to the rank of master yet. Well it's in truth because of the war. The masters are fighting and dying out in the field. For every one sepratist they loose 50 take his place, for every Jedi master we loose, no one take their place.

So now I had heard rumors of the council waving the requirment in some special cases that a knight had to be a master before they could take on a padawan. A surplus of knights and a shortage of masters.. It was the only reasonable soulition.And besides this would only be temporary until her master was found and returned safely. Maybe Yoda wanted to test me.. maybe this was all a big joke.. I really didn't know what to think..

I sat back on my hands by the fire, my head spinning.. ME becoem a master? Even temporarily? I had to admit.. The idea did sound appealing to me.. In just 2 short days Belda had become like a daughter to me.. though I didn't want to admit it. I looked over t her sleeping figure curled up near the cave wall . I wouldn't give my answer to Yoda and the others without speaking to her first. She had as much of a say in this as I did. I figured I would speak to her in the morning.

I was just about to dirft off whenever a cold wind blew the fire out and a darkside presence filled the cave. I was on my feet, my saber ignited in a few short seconds. I could make out a ghostly figure by the light and it's hands were reaching out for Belda!. Remembering the few short lessons I had learned in astral casting I brought my saber down on the ghoul ansd it dissapeared. I hurriedly reignited the fire and I was able to see Belda. Her knees were curled to her chest and her eyes were wide in fear. " i-is he gone?" she asked me, her lower lip trembling slightly.

" Yes he's gone.. That was Phantom Evil I take it?"

She nodded, and then burst into tears. All that night until she finally fell asleep, I cradled her in my arms, doing what I could to comfort her. She was scared and rightfully so, it takes a lot of power in general to be able to astral project. This was one powerful sith.. and then a thought occured to me.. could it be.. Darth Sidious?

All that night I stayed awake, I turned this condrum over and over in my head. by morning's light I had decided that yes .. If Belda would have me as her master, I would take the council's offer. If she would not, then I would still help her defeat Phantom Evil, but I would tell the council no.

Just then Belda stirred from her pillow, which happened to be my shoulder. " Morning Belda.. You feeling better? "She seemed a tad bit confused then nodded. " Belda.. you know Master Yoda called last night right? Well he had a question for me .. and it concerns you.. would you like to know what he asked me?"
As she rose and began making things for breakfast I stopped her" Let me.. go grab a seat and I'll tell you what he asked me"

She headed back over and took a seat on the blanket that had been abondened sometime before.. I think she had thrown it off whenever she got up that morning." What Master Yoda called me about is .. well you" I really wasn't sure how to say this, because I could feel that she missed CeCe geatly. It had caught me off guard too when I had first heard to be truthful." He asked me if I would like to become your temporary master.. At least until CeCe returns.. "

I stopped working and I turned to look her straight in the eye" The decesion is yours Belda. I wwill not force this on you. if you say no then my answer is no. If you agree then I will tell the council yes. The only thing is, Master Yoda expects an answer upon our return to the temple. We are leaving possibly later today. I need to test my strength to see if I am ready to go back. or not. There are some things that the council wants brought back that I found from Granta's collection.They are dangerous artifacts and I will not leave here until I am strong enough to transport them on my own"

Belda nodded solemly and I turned to watch the skies for a while. A tightening in my heart and suddenly my thoughts were pulled down a most unexpected path.. I was wondering if he was okay.. if the council was giving him grief. I hated to admit it.. I really did.. but I missed him.. I missed the temple.. I just wanted life to go back to normal.. Hey waitaminute! Who was I kidding.. life was never normal for me. I heard Catia chuckle in my head " You got that right.. Force Pho, I wish I could make things diffrent for you.. If I could , I would do it in a heartbeat.. No spells, no enchantments.. I'm sorry..I'm not much of a freind am I?"

A single tear slipped down my cheek" It's not you Catia.. I know you would if you could.. But some things just are not meant to be. i just have to content myself with being a freind. No matter my own personal feelings on the matter.. Simply put, Jedi do not have feelings like that..

"I will not , can not admit my feelings. They are foolish and besides.. He's much too good for me"
I could hear Belda padding up behind me. " Are you allright Master Deimos?" she asked, sitting down next to me. Not even looking at her I nodded. She would not understand what I was feeling. In fact I half expected her to crinkle her nose in utter disgust at such an idea.I removed a small holo clip from my belt and pressed the activation button.

It was from when I was younger.. I think maybe 15.. As a reward for our great work rewiring the temple computers and redoing the plumbing( Mace was too cheap to hire pros) Obi wan had taken Anakin and I to the carnival. It was one of the happiest days of my life. The sun was shining and the mantle of darkness that had ensnared us all in it's grip was millenia away, or so it seemed.

Force I could even recall the taste of the cotton candy I had that day.. It was lime flavored. I remember Anakin trying to steal it and I sent him flying into the dunktank. I'm not sure who laughed harder, me or Obi Wan. A time I miss, when we were happy, when we were free. I still carry one trinket besides this holo clip from that perfect afternoon. A simple necklace. No inscription. Silver with an emerald and a sapphire in each end. it held a pciture of him.. I know I should have gotten rid of it long ago, but I didn't have the heart. I still don't to be frank.

I turned to Belda and looked upon her with semi sad eyes" You have such beautiful light Belda.. So bright it almost blinds me.. you remind me why I still fight..I am tired Belda.. tired of fighting.. I have fought all these years for peace for everyone.. but I have not been able to find peace for myself. I hear the screams of those who have fallen under my saber. The stench of blood permeates my clothes, my skin, my mind..The screams of the dying haunt my dreams.. Glowing green eyes of fire, darkness all around me closing in.. A small jewel of light I hang onto.. but sooner or later that jewel will turn to blackness and all will be lost."

My mind is haunted by images of the future of what will become of my brother.. I do not know what I should do. So many choices.. It's like I am being blown like a leaf in the wind. I will not lie.. I crave his smile, his nearness, his presence like I crave nothing else. So much so it has become a drug to me.

I know I will not be able to keep it hidden for much longer. When that time comes.. I have made my choice.. I will travel through the portal one last time.. .. Sequester myself in the future where this secret cannot reach me. Take what I treasure most with me and never return. Even if I must live apart from Ivan.. I will.. I cannot let this touch those who I care for.. Wait! Leaving would hurt them just as bad if not worse.. I do not know what is right and what is wrong anymore..

Oh force help me.. please.. if I don't figure this out soon, this might prove to be the path of my ultimite destruction.. like it almsot destroyed Erifia...I know I am stronger.. or am I?
Til Later

Sunday, February 04, 2007

The curse of my family pt 4 ( An unexpected call)

It was early whenever I woke. Belda had been watching over me while I had slept it seemed because she was sprawled out on the cave floor asleep. Smiling I rose and tucked the blanket over her before moving off into the morning fog that rolled into the planet.
I had things to do.

The first thing I did was.. as much trouble as he caused me and the Jedi, I gave my brother a respectable burial. He was family and I would have liked to think dad would've wanted it that way.

Once that was done, I hunted down my brother's fighter and found something rather unexpected..

A treasure trove of sith artifacts.. There were no less than 4 holocrons, a star map.. the sword which I recgonized as Naga Sadow's ,and a staff.. which I didn't quite recgonize.. but I knew was important.

I pounded my head angrily against the durasteel door. It would take me another day to retrieve these and get them safely stored in the fight for the transport trip back to Coruscant.

And I would have to have up powerful shields around them to keep Belda from sensing them and getting spooked. The fighter was hidden in an alcove which I made sure was inaccessible to other beings before I left..

So I made sure they were well hidden and decided to explore the valley more in depth. I spent the whole day, climbing exploring caves and meditating to regain my strength.

I always kept a watchful eye on Belda with the force to make sure she was safe and sound. She encountered no trouble during the day. At sunset I went back to camp and found her kneeling by a small fire. When she saw me return she ran up and greeted me with a fierce hug. " Master Deimos! your feeling better?"

I hugged her back and nodded" Yes I am feeling a lot better, but I 'm really tired, but I would like to hear about your day very much Belda" Smiling she proceeded to tell me about her day in great length about all the places she'd been to , what she had done, what sort of animals she had met..I had asked her if she felt any other dark presences in the Valley.

She said she hadn't felt anything there except for a twinge from Phantom Evil..

She explained to me about Phantom Evil in great detail. His nightly visits.. How he terrified her into not seeking help from anyone.. it seemed I was one of the few who even KNEW about Phantom Evil's presence.

The first thing I was going to do when I got back my strength and got back home was consult the grimorie for a spell to banish astral projections and one to battle in the astral world. If I needed to I would fight this demon to protect belda.. Now don't get me wrong I love kids to death, but I felt some sort of special connection with Belda that I have never felt with any other child.. and I could tell, she could feel it too.

She told me of her family, what she knew and I told her of mine of what I knew. We were 2 peas in a pod Belda and I , and to be honest I was sorry to see our time on Korriban come to an end , but it was going to have to sooner or later. As the moon rose over the planet, the projector went off by firelight and I answered.

It was Master Yoda.. whatever it was.. it was very important for him to be calling himself..