Helping and Healing

I haven't been the same for weeks now.. I am always looking over my shoulder, not knowing weather I will be attacked whenever I turn a corner or walk through a doorway. My nerves were a mess. I even jumped half a mile whenever Obi Wan came to check on me. I rursted no one, not even really Belda I am deeply ashamed to say. The only ones I trusted were Odi and Lisette.

I could feel Belda's worry and confusion that she did not understand why I was frightened. The information Jocasta gave me was most helpful and later that evening I consulted the grimorie for more information on how to excorsise crossbreed demons.


Catia was guiding me step by step as I reformed my lightsaber for just such a special puprose. The gateway ws only partway constructed in the archives , but the synth crystal I had found in Bane's hoocron was a force send. It is a special crystal that not only can cut through mortal foes but also those of the spiritual nature. I stuided religiously for another week it seemed though I knew it was only a few days before I sent the message to Mace.. That we needed to talk.. to meet me in the training room..


The air was like ice around me the moment I stepped through those doors. The room was dark, illiminated by the eerie glow of Mace's saber , which cast shadows off the walls of the room. his voice.. it was not his own as he spoke to me..
" Lovely.. your swordmaster will not save you this time.. you'll be mine my dear.. "


I said nothing but activated my black blade which caused him to take a step back. " How.. that is the synth crystal of Anubis!"


I gave him no leway but attacked head on, taking him down to the floor . He grinned then flipped me over , this time I was ready and kicked out with my feet sending him flying back into the wall. I was so focused on the battle before me I did not hear the door open. My saber was raised for the killing strike and I was bringing it down on his arm when a strong hand closed over my upper arm and dragged me back away from him as I was about to do something I knew I would regret..


"He's no threat now! stop!"


I turned about ready to kill whoever had stopped me then.. my heart nearly stopped..
I was looking into the eyes of someone very familiar.. but foregin at the same time.. " Ivan?"
He smiled gently " not anymore.. My name is Godfrey.. Godfrey Zebulon .. Through the nightmare you have survived you changed it all.. for the better or worse I don't know.. but what matters is now I'm here and I can help you through this.. You know.. I can help you.. let me protect you .. Let me help you heal.. "


Our eyes met for an instant and I knew.. it was like all of those years I had spent for pining over someone I could not have.. they all went up in flames.. I saw my destiny sitting in front of my eyes before me.. It was then I noticed the saber at his hip. He was not dressed in tunics and robes.. Instewad he was dressed in a simple civillan outfit of a red sweater, black jeans which clung VERY nicely may I add and black shoes.


" You're a Jedi?"


He chuckled and I could've melted right then and there.. " Just recently.. time space stuff.. I don't want to give you a headache"


Mace was rising from where I had knocked him out. I could feel and see it.. The energy of the incubi and succubi crossbreed was gone.. he was himself again.


Godfrey helped me to my feet and Mace was just about to come over whenever an image of what happened at the vaults flashed before my eyes.. " no! Mace.. stay away from me!" I backed up until I was back to chest with Godfrey who wrapped an arm around me protectively. Mace looked at me wide eyed and then he bakceed away slowly.. " Phobia.. I'm so sorry.. Oh force.. how blind have I been? Can you ever forgive me?"


I nodded " I can forgive you, but I don't know if I can trust you again"


He nodded briefly and left us in peace.. I turned to Godfrey,who gazed at me from behind a pair of geek glasses which I found utterly adorable. I felt safe, protected.. I collapsed in his arms and he picked me up off the mats and carried me clear back to my rooms. I drifted in and out for a time..

When I woke I was tucked into my bed in my room and Godfrey sat by my bedside stroking my forehead . I felt sort of like I had fever but it felt good. I wanted him next to me.. I wanted him to hold me but I was afraid to ask.. afraid where it might lead.. could I handle something like this so soon?


In response to my unspoken question he stood, kissed my forehead, my nose and briefly.. just ever so briefly my lips before using the force sleep suggestion on me and I fell into a dream like abyss.When I woke and he wasn't there I cried despretly like my heart had been broken but I saw the rose on my bedside table and the note


Meet you at breakfast.. then walk with me in the gardens?
Godfrey


I dressed in a whirlwind and pratically ran up the stairs to the cafeteria . There he sat waiting for me at my favroite table by the window the biggest smile on his face. I swear I was walking on air the whole morning..

We walked in the gardens after breakfast before I had to teach classes and he even danced with me.. Force he has the voice of an angel.. 9 am came too soon and I had to go teach the morning saber class since Cin was under the weather with a cold.

He was teaching the morning hand to hand combat class 1 floor down from me. My senses hummed and most of the knights noticed the change in me.. at one point one of them puleld me aside and warned me I was a little too excited and needed to calm down.Ii tried force I tried.. but I was so happy.. I wanted to float on a clooud.. I was in love.. despretly.. truly.. and completly in love
Til later
Pho