Stuck in a conundrum

Well after my visit with the publisher this morning I have super fablous news.. Cycle of Time is the most anticipated book for the Christmas season . Reclamation has hit the top 10 Coruscant list! Whoohoo! After I cahsed the check from the newest bunch of sales made from the first book

I headed downtown for shopping. I had nothing to wear for the Christmas party and I was in desprete need of a dress and yes.. more shoes.. Believe it or not.. I have quite the extensive shoe colection.

I took my speeder into the downtown shopping district dressed in my civvie clothes thankyou muchly.. . I doubtd even Anakin could've found me if he tried for a week I blended in that well . So here I was wandering through the shpping district looking for a dress when I stopped dead at the GryphorMoon shop. Holy Sith! The dress that was in the window.. It was beautiful! I headed inside and about 10 minutes later I exited with a box under one arm .. The dress was a perfect fit. Now for my accessories.. Namely shoes..

Soemthing like maybe four hours later and much hunting( hey I'm picky) I loaded up my speeder and headed back to the temple.. I made sure to pull the speeder right up underneath my window and dump everythign through there.. I didn't want Anakin or anyone asking how I had gotten the money for this expidition. Once I got back to my room I laid the dress out on the bed and smothered out any wrinkles. Lisette purred her approval and proceded to mark the dress as " her's"

I was about halfway into a laughing fit when my holomail went off. It was from the pulbisher saying they had scheduled an appearence for me a week from today.. I checked the calander SITH ! that was the night of the party! I emailed Dortherita back saying it couldn't be that night because I had a party to attend and it was unavoidable , I had to be there. Up til this point I have only done holoraido interviews and even then my voice was changed..Because I know for a fact Mace listens to the holo raido like a religion . I wanted to avoid any " parties " like the plague because once word got out I was a jedi knight.. my carrer as a writer would be tanked for sure. That was problem A. Problem B was that once it got out at the temple.. I would either have a train of fanboys following me everywhere, or worse.. I could be forbidden to continue my wirting.

I know and full well realize that keeping things hidden to oneself emotions speaking can lead to the darkside,but I found an outlet to let that go and actually confess it, through my charcters. it might seem childish and or foolish, but it works for me and that's the only thing I careabout. And besides , it's fun. Like when I am passing someone on a street corner and they are talking about one of the books. That's what I live for.. , that's my true reward to make people happy with my writing.. If I stopped having fun writing, I would stop writing alltogether... Close off the series and be done with it..

Though, even writing helps me let some things go, there are some times when it can make them worse.. I will not lie in that aspect. Some nights I cry myself to sleep because it pains me so much. As much as I give myself to the stories, they give back to me, wether it be in comfort , happiness , or pain; I can't say. it comes with the territory.

Well anyway I kind of got way off subject there, back to the shopping expidition.

I slipped the dress on and laced up the back before fiddling wiht my hair just a little til I found the perfect style for it, a slight french twist leaving some ogf my hair hanging at the back of my neck like a fan almost.. Next came the shoes which were all black with silver ribbinns threaded through them. Finally I slipped on the bracelet and looked at myself in the mirior. I didn't recgonize who that woman was that was standing there. It couldn't have been me.. this woman looked, dare I say it pretty? And that term I use loosely. She.. I mean I looked like a cross between a royal lady and a night creature.. The line between extreamly grey and blurry.

I made some notes as to what makeup I should use and then took everything back off and changed into my black pants and tanktop I needed to go to the training room to pratice , no saber or whip this time, the old fashioned weapons.

I was running through my bo staff kata, Shokon Nidan whenever Anakin made the mistake of comming up behind me and I accidently twacked him in the head.. " Oh Anakin I'm sorry!" I said running over to check on him. After him assuring me he was okay , I set my bo down and asked" Okay I know you wouldn't come down here without a sparring partner without a reason.. So spill what's up?"

" well.. " he looked around to make sure no one was listening and then asked me" You know I 've been kinda reading the Neatherrealm series and I was wondering if you knew when the next book was comming out?"

Folks let me tell you I nearly died of a heartattack right then and there.

Anakin actually read the book? Anakin reading period? Pinch me someone I'm dreaming.. but anywho

" Should be out in another week or so I heard the author met with the publisher a few days ago" okay so I was lying my face off here, it was to protect my own reputation what can I say?
He smiled " Good.. I wanted to get the next one the day it comes out and I was thinking of maybe getting Obi Wan the first one.. He seems to have read through the enitre library in his quaters.. Most of those books are falling apart he's read them so much. "

My eyes were as big as saucers and Catia snickered " Well seems like Anakin has you caught between a rock .. and a Jedi?" She's lucky she's already dead.. I could hear her laughter echoing in my head..

" um , yah sure, try the local B&N I hear they are having a midnight premire.. " I said while trying to regain some sense of bearing.. Thankfully, I NEVER went to midnight premires..general rule type deal.. good lord help me if those two become fans of the series.. This was not the kind of afternoon I was envisioning, not at all. Anakin left a minute or two later and I picked up my kamas spining them in my hands and went into one of the lower belt katas.

How is it my seemingly perfect afternoon comes down around my ears?

Oh before I forget, the above pictures are of the dress, and bracelet as well as my hair comb..

I think I need an asprin, extra strength
Phobia